Languished in imperial robe
with precious amethyst trimmed.
Hands clap impatiently
for Nubian slave to pamper them
with plump Etruscan grapes
and blood-red wine,
figs and pomegranates
The two, in regal lavender attired
lips now stained violet
reminisce as soldiers
of proud victories in Gaul
and triumph over Pharsalus.
A rendezvous agreed
in Pompey's theatre
One rises, gives salute,
prepares to leave
Unconsciously his hand
slips toward his scabbard
his thoughts to future glory
nobility and riches
when the deed is done.
On his left temple
A single vein throbs
Purple
Author notes
Option 1.
Julius Caesar was murdered on the 15th March (The Ides of March) by his friend Brutus and others. This piece depicts Brutus' final meeting with Caesar, sharing his friendship and wine, but with treachery and murder in his heart
Written May 8th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Purple Hazes by Melissa Gayle.
300 points, ended May 9, 2005, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To find ugly meanings in beautiful things is to be corrupt without being charming -Oscar Wilde by Aesthete.
700 points, ended June 18, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Famous (and infamous) persons from history by LittleAnn.
600 points, ended July 4, 2007, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - General: Free Verse, Rhyme and Everything Else by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 140 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - HIstory is Bliss by Hunger is not Bliss.
881 points, ended August 25, 2007, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - History: BIG events and BIG people by Yorkshire Rose.
450 points, ended August 15, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 41 of 41
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I like where this poem took me. Its not quite like any of the others in the contest. Thanks for entering and good luck!
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thank you for your entry
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A well composed poem, with an extended use of vocab., this is going to be one very tough contest to judge, your poem is the first one I have read and if the others are like this, its going hard to judge, but a excellent poem and great use of historical context 'Nubian slave', well done
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Great to read this poem again after a year (just saw it in a contest I also entered) - I know I already commented on this.
Annie
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NICE!!!!!!!! Keep up the good work!!!!!!!!! Good luck
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Thanks! Erm... don't know how I managed it, but I seem to have accidentally removed this from your contest. Any ideas how I can re-include it?
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This is a brilliant piece of work, enthrallingly surreal!! Wonderful, wonderful write!
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I am not greatly familar with the events that this piece describes, which maybe makes me a better reviewer for the effort as I am not coming in with any preconceptions. I don't think that I would have ever completely understood this piece without the author's notes, so I thank you for adding them. Having re-read the work with that information in mind I can say that I feel the vocabulary in this piece is impressive, yet accessible. The content and flow are both better-then-fair with the content being the stronger of the two (as should be expected by the author). Speaking of strength, the majority of it to be found in this piece (and that is not to be taken diminuatively at all) comes in the final two stanzas which I believe contain a historical perspective on how the deed was accomplished and show a snapshot of the possible aftermath.
I feel positively about the experience of having read this work and I thank you for your entry.
~Das -
The imagery in this piece is brilliant, especially the use of colours I think. Such a wonderful read, about an an important read in history... and still quite tragic...
Thank you for entering my contest!
Good luck and keep on writing!
Annie
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O no, I was so sure of the order of the finalists in my contest and then you go and revise this. How dare you, it’s excellent. It's amazing how much a small revision can do. A good poem often lurks beneath the shadows of a rough draft. I want to thank you for not biting my head off for my critique. It’s happened a few times in the duration of this contest. I think that this is a wonderful poem and will definitely be among the finalists.
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It’s a good write, but it is relatively difficult to read. It doesn’t flow very well at all in the first two stanzas. You do use an interesting array of words and on their own most lines stand up but they just feel grinded together and it’s confusing at times. But no matter, the last section was very good and it nearly compensates. Thanks for entering
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Thanks for the feedback!
Hi,
Just wanted to say thanks for the constructive criticism. This was written quite quickly for an earlier contest, and re-reading in the light of your observations, I could only concur. There was ambiguity there, mainly as I wanted to avoid naming Caesar or Brutus, to hold the reader until 'the penny dropped' ( or they read my notes! ). The flow wasn't quite right either.
I have made some changes, it still needs work, I think. If you wouldn't mind, I'd be delighted to hear any further suggestions.
Many thanks,
PJ
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With words, you captured this moment beautifully though such a tragic event. The imagery gave way to a driving emotoinal story of betrayal. You depicted this story magnificiently. Well written!!
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Good stuff
Great use of words to complete the color symbols. Good memory ties to what we think we know about how the Romans dressed and looked. Nice ending. -
Good
I loved this, and I love Shakespeare's Julius Caesar! Nice write anyways..
Blessed Be and Slainte,
Slan,
Morgana
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I love this. the subject of your poem is right up my interest alley. the title was what caught my attention right away and i knew i had to check this out. and it wasn't a disappointment. you did an excellent job! keep it up
blessed be
~Speak -
A wonderful, magnificent piece of poetry - very evocative of the time and atmosphere. I love this piece of history here - well done.
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this is good, nice transitioning and flow Good Luck.
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crystaldust 12-05-0515:54
You've captured a marvellous sense of history in this poem and worked yourself well into Caesar's thoughts. Bravo! I love your "lesser lavendar" than Etruscan grapes and the suspicion, despite himself, of Portia's anxiety and the call of "Beware the Ides of March". Good luck in the contest. I hope you get a reward for this. -
Applaud
Wonderful piece, I like that you brought the History element in to the poem!
Peace,Love, Respect & Jah Bless
Queenjmil -
You went from the robes to the wine to the temporal vessels ever so eloquently. Awesome piece.
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Such a classic feel to this. It takes you back in time, the images so well done and the flow...eloquent. Honestly, one of the finest pieces I've read in quite some time, I would not change a word of it. It's perfection. Blessings, Gypsy
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Very beautiful poem. I loved the way you painted a picture with your words. You definatly get my applause on this one.
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very nice
loved this stanza the most
"Himself, in lesser lavender attired
with lips stained violet
awaits conclusion of proud reminiscenses
of victories in Gaul
triumph over Pharsalus,
agrees a rendezvous in Pompey's theatre
rises and prepares to leave"
ides of march... the death of caesar.... very powerful poem, worth an applause, but i'll have to wait for tomorrow, for i am all out of them right now
good luck with the contest -
Very vivid. The imagery is very strong, and you almost feel as if your a witness. Lovely stuff.
Cheers,
Yossarian -
Fabulous! Yeah, purple is right! All of these images swept through my mind and the poem is so well built.
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Very good
Yes this story has been repeated and repeated and I do remember the Ides Of March as well. Very good -
Luscious and Etruscan
Even though it was apparently part of the contest: I love your use of color in this. The repeated but different shades of purple heighten the mood of impending doom as well as lend the whole piece a sense of irony.
And the line: 'luscious Etruscan grapes' brings an image to mind so floridly gratuitous that I cant help but smile. Of course I mean that in a good way.
Very good luck in the contest! -
From the ending to the beginning an admirable
To the one who said Pompeii is so wrong, this one needs to check into a school or Google Pompey before they reply, saves alot of stupidity. -
BRILLIANT! This is so well written, I love how it connects with history. This definately isn't your run-of-the-mill poem, and that is a VERY good thing. It shows talent in both history and writing, you are definately talented! Well done
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Hi interesting write, but Caesar was a fanatic and it has now been proved not a nice guy to have around, lol, maybe he had it coming,all the best
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Romans are wonderful...heh, and I love people who don't know the difference between the person Pompey and the city Pompeii. All these kids who don't take Latin. This was a great poem...I love history poems for some reason. good luck in the contest!
peace and love,
anna -
great!
I love this! You really did your research, I too had to do a project over Pompey... I'm amazed at how you put it into such a beautiful work!! Awesome job! -
Oh I love this. Such a wonderful painting of the event. Great job!
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Once again you have went above and beyond, the fact that you can weave history in with a piece on color was wonderfully done. Your imgagery and wording emphasizing the overall feel of the piece, giving depth and emotion to a simple color. Wonderfully written.
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Visually Lush and Multidimensional
You've covered the color perfectly, making it multi-faceted and giving it a depth that I haven't seen yet in this list of contest poems. I love the line "when the deed is done;" to me it implies several meanings, including an overthrow? Very, very well done. -
Excellent
Another wonderful poem with colors entwined.Beautifully done and with a flavor of history.Very good imagery..Well written.Good luck
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Thanks Mary, that means a lot.
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I like how you've challenged yourself with the color poems and how each defintely has a life of its own, independent of the others.
Very nicely done
M -
Thanks for the support, and the kind comments. Pompey was originally an ally of Caesar, but was defeated by him at Pharsalus. It was in "Pompey's Theatre" that the Ides of March assassination took place - no connection to the doomed town of Pompeii ( he said smugly, glad he'd done the research! )
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Wow this was great, the only mistake I see is I believe it's "Pompeii" and not "Pompey". This was such a great story, and condensed perfectly too. Kept my attention the entire time, might be my favorite in the contest, mine probably is a tad too long for this
By the way the end was amazing
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