Hidden
in a small breast pocket
of this well suited city,
woven into immaculate threads
of daily gossip…
Of deadlines…
Of phones…
Of talk…
We sit:
Wealthy beyond imagining.
Bank rolled in conversation
soaked in the aroma of coffee beans.
Surrounded by sips and slurps-
By old friends hugging,
by new business prowling;
you and I sit.
Our hands
form a makeshift bridge across the table.
It spans a sea of strangers,
connects two lost souls.
We gaze into the safe harbor of our beings.
We drop anchor.
We rest.
We listen to a lap of words
as it gently rocks us
through our thoughts.
Washing away cold fragments
of this well suited city.
We sit hidden in its small breast pocket-
Laughing
Author notes
Written May 6th, 2005
A contest entry
- Show Me Love Or Show Me Pain by Death Like Kiss.
400 points, ended March 20, 2006, 43 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Almost Perfect by Kaleidoscopeyes.
800 points, ended December 14, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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it is written well and the formatting adds to it. good job
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I like this a lot. Thanks for entering. Trying to judge right now. This one is in the running.
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I liked this it was very well written and just totally brilliant the love spoke out of it and you used descriptions really well I liked this.
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David, this is one hell of an awesome write my friend. Just imagery alone is enough to get someone who doesn’t have you on their favorites to change that immediately. You always have a keen sense of putting in the right words at the right time, and I respect that so much. I read some of the above comments left (not to duplicate any) and found myself agreeing with each one. Nicely done and then some my friend.
~ John
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I almost forgot to come back to this. Thanks for your help...guess it was late at night when I was reading it. Like I said, I liked the language you used.
I remember seeing you type once....you didn't know why people used that kind of usage of printing of a poem. I like that you used your poem that way. It gives it a lot of character.
Cheryl
Cheer
Oh, you got the silver....great going!!!!
Edited on May 10, 3:20 p.m. because ''. -
It's Mary Poppins! and that's about all I gotta say!
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Whoa. I absolutely am in love with this piece. I feel compelled to read more of your work but I fear not tonight. Mmmmm....such a lovely image you create and with such talent. Thank you for entering into the contest and good luck.
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Big smile. Mostly at the impossible connection, the sheer hilarity of the odds against it happening, then it does, HAHAHAHAHAHAHa and there is laughter in the face of it all, the brutish city, the incompetent gods, the fucking exploding cock pessimism of everything ever conceived...all of it.. a hearty fuck off as the fingers weave. Lovely, lovely.
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I agree that this is a beautiful poem, as soon as the fellow judges have a look and comment then Ill go ahead and finish this, thank you for lending your talent to my contest,
lrft over interest -
Desiree -
Dear David,
If I say 'different and interesting' can I be banned for plagiarism just because a few others got in earlier with the words I would have used if I'd got here first? Oh well, rather than run that risk I won't use those words. I'll say 'dissimilarly divergent and engagingly absorbent' and I'm taking out immediate copyright on those four words (but not on 'and' which has apparently been used before) so they can stick that in the small breast pocket of this well suited city.
Other than this not much has happened today. How's it been with you? It's turned cold here for this time of the year and the forecast is for rain some time over the weekend but nobody's sure when. I think I've got one bonus (free) applause left so you might as well have the 7 points and if I get 5 for this comment that means I'm 20 up (don't you Aussies have a game called 2up or something?) Damn! I think I've got that dreaded writer's cramp in my right wrist. Ah me! Another lonely night.
Best wishes for success in the contest and thanks for your time. (Wanders off humming "Rule Britannia") Regards, Hugh.
Edited on May 07, 4:37 because 'typos due to writer's cramp.'. -
this is a very interesting poem with good use of words and a nice way to put them there... I liked this poem and it's topic... it is a poem about simple things we pass by all the time and if they cause all of this freat writing...i don't thinki it is the muse...it is the WRITER!!! ....... so keep up the good work here and there.... I want to see another of yours up in the featured box again!!!
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this lap of words [not in a breast pocket
]
washed over me with a calmness I applaud
elaine
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As always, sanning time.
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This is great...it seems very simple and elegant...and that makes me like it even more....great write, keep up the good work!
~Ashley -
See now reading this suggested to me how big the world, or just a city can seem to two people who sit together in it. I think it's a brilliantly written poem.
Shari
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great work!
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uhhhhh ok.Different but interesting!!
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Very original David.
Interesting concept.
Well done.
Robin. -
good
good, interesting but good. sounds like something ive heard before.
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