What has happened to me?
What kind of evil evolution is taking place
Inside me, my body
Inside my very heart!!
What caused this demon to grow?
What Demented venom did this creature get life from?
It grows...It..churns..
Oh God it rips inside my soul...
I can't live anymore without its insight
without its ever pressing influence over my mind...
Give me a knife to rip it out...
Give me a gun to blow this beast forever out of my being!!!
Every time I breath I feel...I TASTE its hot moist breath come out of my lungs...no longer to be contained, forever loose inside my brain.
What could this creature be and Oh God what in the world does it want from me?
I curl up into a ball of defeat and watch as my heart, my life, my morals, and my soul go up in flames and smoke...never again to exist inside my body.
Shivering in agony as sounds of former heroes die and are ripped to pieces and eaten alive by this evil monster...
HELP ME! HELP ME..help..me....my sound for help is muffled out by the creatures villainous laugh of victory over my soul's fortress of once great power.
Closing my eyes to see nothing but darkness forever...
only to hear and feel the creatures presence around my soul for now and ever more...
Author notes
Written May 6th, 2005
A contest entry
- For poets who are sick of seeing contest that are invite only and no pre writes allowed by angelinthelight17.
300 points, ended October 31, 2006, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Very Moving,Very well written.
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intense a little scary and avery well written piece
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morbidly sad
It seems like this demon was a little too overpowering... very morbid, but also inticing. Could it be that your heart is broken?...
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aww morbid acute-ness of emotions (is it a dream.. or is it that you're broken hearted???)
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Intense & scary. Some powerful phrases are: "evil evolution,
hot moist breath come out of my lungs; as sounds of former heroes die" -
WOW! This is scary! To not even have control over your own mind and body... truly that would be a living hell.
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Amazing what comes out and rears it's ugly head when we least expect it. This was very well written as I can feel the urgency and pain in it. It was so easy to read and follow and so very powerful.
Kudos to you... -
Darling
Hmmm nicely written darkness
has that scary tone
misty, vague I confess
you sound all alone.
Smoosh
Janet -
Very well written piece, dark and compelling filled with anquish and pain. loved the feel and flow and the form is great. Keep your pen forever flowing.
Bunny
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wow, very engergetic and emotional. There is a lot of feeling in this poem, not just anger but something deeper almost. very intense and powerful.
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Good Write... Keep it up...
Chin up, Be proud.
Blank x [AKA MistyKitty] -
Pete i LOVE your poem it really touch me and gave me the chills because it reminded of me when i was mad at Lora, Areli and everyone else. I did feel like i was a beast and not the person i knew that was inside hiding. I hope you that i do love you (As a friend) and i hope we stay friends forever.
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Scary, and really well written. Our demons can sometimes be over powering. Great write
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i thought you told me it was called shadow? you know pete, i really don't blame you for the brakeup, you do but i blame both of us as a couple. i liked this poem, i know how you feel sometimes. i feel trapped with sara and my parents and even areli. i love you pete and that's all you need to know. i liked it, i thought this is one of the best yet snickers. i'm proud of you.
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Great dark poem I could feel the anguish growing.Very intense
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nice read
wow, this is such a great story of being trapped inside yourself, not really knowing whats been going on in your life, kind of feeling like you've been observing someone else living instead of you, Great
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