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Acchile's Heel



In midst of the great war
an acolyte was caught.
To a hero from afar,
she was, as slave-girl brought.
.
Still and silent that night
The hero laid in rest
well-earned was his respite
from war's unmerciful crest.
.
Quietly, boldly she went
Hoping this war to end.
Arm'd, o'er him she bent
onto Hades to send.
.
Hark, but he awakened
and held her with his gaze:
'Beauty! you have weakened
my wrath!' he said in praise.
.
'You had me in thrall, maiden
with your courage. Since that day
I've been with sorrow laden.
End my misery, I pray!'
.
Their souls for long had fought
a fierce and silent war.
His skill had come to naught
in face of her faith's power.
.
Her hands paused, in waiting
the blade cold on his skin;
swiftly, he caught her sating
the driving force within.
.
Then ensued a struggle
for the sake of their lives.
Their efforts did double,
fiercely wielding their knives.
.
A thirst for blood did course
through their veins
Each better and worse
inflicting joyous pains.
.
The assailant humbled,
the slave girl was crowned!
The warrior stumbled,
in her his victory found!.
.


Author notes


Written May 6th, 2005

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • laya
    June 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    gripping

    well done!

  • emscritic
    May 8, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you SC, I really had no idea it was pronounced that way....
    I'll have to see if i can correct that somehow.... but i doubt i'll be able to right now.

  • Southern Comfort
    May 8, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I don't claim to know why it is spelled that way, but I do know how it is pronounced. If you don't believe me, check it out yourself: http://www.askoxford.com/concise_oed/respite?view=uk

    http://www.bartleby.com/61/20/R0182000.html

    http://www.infoplease.com/dictionary/respite


  • estelm4
    May 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Really? by the word, Id say they do rhyme, I thought respite is pronounced as "spite"- why would the 'e' be added at the end otherwise?

  • Southern Comfort
    May 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Still and silent that night
    The hero laid in rest
    well-earned was his respite
    from war's unmerciful crest.

    Are you aware that "night" and "respite" don't rhyme? Since all your other rhymes are true rhymes, except for "double" and "struggle," which are close enough to pass, but this "night and "respite" really stick out because they do not even come close to rhyming. Night is said with the long I sound, like kite, but respite has a short a sound like pit.

  • estelm4
    May 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Read, or else!!!

    I know for a fact that it was Troy and Brad Pitt's ____________ that inspired this- to all those who couldnt find out.

    Awesome. (The rest of my comments you already know, so-)
    Im signing off here.
    Bye da.

  • blackheart217
    May 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    THAT MOVIE ROCKS! I'm sure it was based on "Troy" with Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom and the almight Peter O'Toole right? I LOVE that movie almost as much as I love Phantom of the Opera...well, good luck in the contest and I think you did a great job of this...you've done Homer proud.

  • McIntosh1985
    May 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This was a really great poem. what movie did you chose to write about though, it didn't sound familiar to me. It was a great poem though. keep up the writing and good luck.

1 - 8 of 8