Good and Evil, both came from the same source
Purity of energy, that was degraded by human intercourse
It was Evil that remembered the absence of any motivating light
And tries to replicate itself, in the Gothic, vampire, swoops of the night
Good is the embodiment of all that is unsullied and pure
It is the ultimate, virgin, deity of energy, that is for sure
Duality did co exist before the first, forbidden, sexual, apple bite
But who the hell decides, what is wrong and what is right?
They are known as the yin and the yang
The distance between the hunger pangs
The bloodied stains on the vampire fangs
The murderer that corkscrewed and hung
The stepping on the first, spiritual, step on the rung
The sweetest song that is about to be ever sung
Differences indeed in every living creatures and their young
And the sweet, golden, magikal, mermaids combed their long hair
At the entrance to the cave at the bottom of the spiral stairs
Where exist the frictional dewdrops of a fragmented and confused life
Created by polarity, created by energy in strife
Look at the purity in that silvered, bloody, butcher's knife
And the Raven did indeed start off life as a pure dove
Sent out of the Ark, to find land for Noah, with love
And the darkness crept on and changed it's feathered plume
Evil will attempt to take over all our identities, I assume.
Georges.
Author notes
Written May 6th, 2005. In bewteen options.
In a list
A contest entry
- ANYTHING and EVERYTHING by Silent committer.
300 points, ended December 15, 2005, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Duality of mankind by drkmisery1.
1003 points, ended March 30, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A cascade of magical options are flying in your face!!!!!! by AutumnsFlame.
415 points, ended June 27, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Innocense Versus Corruption by alexandrathegreat.
500 points, ended July 10, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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Degraded by human intercourse? I think it was upgraded.
I like this alot thank you for entering
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Your description here was totally awesome! I loved this part:
They are known as the yin and the yang
The distance between the hunger pangs
The bloodied stains on the vampire fangs
The murderer that corkscrewed and hung
The stepping on the first, spiritual, step on the rung
The sweetest song that is about to be ever sung
You have entered a good poem. That right there is a job well done. Your rhyming I thought was slightly off in some places, and it was a little hard to understand, but besides that it was pretty darn good. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck. -
i think while you were going off you kind of lost tracl of the topic and just started doing opposites wile not really linking them in anyway... but as a poem i liked it because it was similar to a story so i read it twice... well good luck in the contest and good luck in all of your future writes
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another great poem! i was astonished by this line, for some time ago i made the same question to myslef, so i really liked it
But who the hell decides, what is wrong and what is right?
Great comparassion between good and evil..
thanks for entering and good luck
S.C
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Reflectively Pondering
I must say the imagery is quite wonderful in this one, especially the dicatomy between the images, light vs dark, perfect verses imperfect, yet still perfect in their own right. Very interesting to say the least. -
In the rules it said only to enter one poem, but don't worry I wont kick you out
I'll just choose one poem as my favourite and judge that one. This was amazing, I'm speechless. You seem to write poems about topics hardly anyone writes about..And you pull it off perfectly. Well done. Thank you for following the rules. Thanks for entering and best of luck in my contest!
~Lana
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Very unique and descriptive.The flow was great also.You are certainly a talented writer.Thanks for entering my contest!
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very interesting.. memorable...and of course enjoyable. i liked it because it had a unique message i think many could interpret differently. good use of words. nice flow good luck
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you have a very .....notice-able style your poems reflect that you write them .....you like spirals dont you .....so far you have used the imagery of them twice and i read two poems ....ahh the spiral one of my fav. symbols any-way very good writeing.
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I hope not Georges.
As good as ever.
Don't really understand the term "deity of energy" though.
And only two "dids" !
R. -
wicked!!!
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well I suppose it depends how weak you are to let evil take over...I shall fight to the end!
You know, I know this is naughty of me, but I look at the pic of you and you just dont look the kind to write like this...how awful is that, prejuding someone on looks, but I cant helpt it. Maybe I am old and weak and evil will come calling..
Must say though, it was an extrodinary piece of writing, full of lines that make you stop and ponder over. Well done. -
VERBALLY Great Truthfully ahhhum
Need to go back to the book babe intercourse was the punishment not the sin. The sin was disobedience and lying, not laying....LOL -
Really Creative Poem
O my, this was really awesome and amazing poem George! Keep it up! This was def. meant to be in the contest!
oxoxoxo
Sedusha
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My god this is just awesome! I havve always loved your work and will continue to. Thi is an excellent piece. Good luck in my contest and thanks for entering.
Katy
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I think the vampire metaphores were a little cliched, but then vampirism has become cliched in itself anyway.
Structure wise the poem seemed to have a consistent ryhme scheme, though the line about mermaids upset that balance somewhat. I would also suggest setting the bit with the 'ung' scheme in a stanza on it's own for easier reading and a more prominent effect.
The poem did give a foreboding eminance of doom. I could envision the person making his way down to an alternate version of (not a hell?) the typical after life.
Otherwise well done.
Edited on May 06, 9:49 because ''. -
Weird subject, and I haven't seen a whole lot of poems on it. I really like the images in it, though I'm not sure I like the rhyming.
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Good and Evil, both came from the same source
Purity of energy, that was degraded by human intercourse
i like this great job 9 3/4 -
Once upon atime /2005
The content of the poem is like a mountan which was witnessed by the early man, it seems, choosing this subject with present context and balancing with the poetic presentations shows the credibility of the poet. good job.prabhudayal khattar -
lovely
it's a war of worlds. good and evil... -
great poem...really awesome..way to go...keep writing...good-bye for now!
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The view that you have expressed here is just wonderful. You clearly have views of good and evil thru out the poem. Use of imagtry as well. Good luck in the contest. Take care, Lissa
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This is great, very unique and original...I like the part about who the hell decides what is wrong and what is right....I have thought about that before....Great write, keep up the good work!
~Ashley -
this is like really good, i like it alot
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Very good
This is interesting and a good essay on what good and evil is. Essentially when the last lines do indicate that evil is let in and changes things around and that too can be reversed when good enters in as well. Pretty darn good writing. -
OMG..how you captured the differences between good and evil. Such elegant words, such great comparisons, your knowledge of the English language! Marvelous. Just one little misspell:Magikal, I think should be magical. Loved every single word. Linda
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good
Nice poem,a little phrose like sometimes,but nice.Good and evil...how do you define them?They complete one another,can't be separated.No comments about rhyme and flow on this one
.Well,good luck Georges.
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this is a very well and thought out piece of art. The flow is very good with a solid rhyme in it. It seems to have been written from within where all good/great poetry comes from. Very nice good job
love and light
blaze
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