I am a crazy, distant, mother
I wonder if I’ll ever be the person I want to be...
I hear my daughter’s voice in 12 years…
I see the stage lights of a concert hall shining in my eyes…
I want to somehow make my dreams a reality so I can then make my daughter’s dreams come true…
I am a crazy, distant, mother
I pretend to be happier than I am…
I feel the wind in my face as I soar through the air…
I touch the scales of the dragons from my fantasies…
I worry that my depression will affect my daughter as my mother’s affected me…
I cry when my husband tells me he knows I can be more than I am…
I am a crazy, distant, mother
I understand that there are some things no one can control…
I say “I should have known better, I just wish that ONCE things would go right”…
I dream of being happy so I can make my life and those around me better…
I try to make a life for my daughter that she will think back on fondly…
I hope she will be happy and like me…
I am a crazy, distant, mother
Author notes
Wow.... I'm a lot more cynical an depressed than I want to be. Guh.... Well... at least I was honest. 
Written May 5th, 2005
A contest entry
- I am (insert adjective here). by joliemere.
400 points, ended May 8, 2005, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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i like this poem but it does have a sad tone to it but thats what grabbed my attention so good work sometimes the saddest poems are the best, i like the part where you state i see the stage lights of a concert hall shining in my eyes" wonderful poem and i don't know if your really a crazy, distant, mother but it seems like you are a mother that cares and that has dreams i admire your work
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Great job!! This is very artistic. The form of the poem reminds me of a journal entry, which makes all the more personal and candid. It strikes me as a moment of genius, as if it were spilled in the heat of the feeling, uncontrolled and unedited. Those are the times when our thoughts and emotions become poetry all by themselves and we just take notes. A wonderfully honest and moving piece...Great work!! Sheryl
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I am a crazy, distant, mother
MAN you arent the only one. EXCELLENT entry best of luck
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This is what this contest is all about. Digging deep within yourself to find what is truly behind our everyday mask. Few poets took the "discover yourself" seriously. I'm glad you chose to write from your heart. I, like you, am crazy and distant. My mom never had depression, but I have battled with it on and off since I was a teen. I try to make my kids' lives better than mine was. Excellent write and thank you so much for sharing. Best of luck!
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