When the sun falls down,
And the moon won't rise,
That's when I will be
plotting your demise.
The ground will dye black;
The skies will run red;
My anger will show
and soon you'll be dead.
These feelings, swelling up inside me.
These emotions, building up within me.
This... RAGE, this ANGER, this complete and utter sensation of ANGST.
My sorrow, my passion, my love and my pain.
All of this will turn in the end.
One day, I will not be able to control the feelings, raging inside.
One day, I won't let you walk over me, and just let it slide.
One day, soon, you will feel my anger, my sorrow, my unbridled rage.
One day, you'll feel it, my heart will burst forth from it's lucid cage.
I'll make your world dark, I'll make your eyes bleed,
I'll turn your existence into suffering and pain.
I'll show you the things that you've brought unto me
and twist your being, driving you insane.
I won't let you get away, not this time, not anymore.
I cannot forgive you, not any of you, for my strife.
When the grounds starts to burn, and the rain starts to pour,
I'll show you, my true Judgement, my Darkness, my Life.
Author notes
...I let out some emotions...
There are people in this world, that do not understand what they've done, what they do. They do not feel remorse, or sorrow.
I feel bad for every terrible thing I've done, I feel remorse, regret, I feel awful, for even hurting someone in the slightest bit. I feel bad for leading people on, for breaking someone's vase, for tearing a new shirt.
But I never, NEVER, seem to get that from anyone. They do not care. They just do not fucking care.
I can be special too, damn it. And you will see. One of these days, I won't be that shining light. I'll be that overwhelming darkness, and then you will not escape me. I will not be that Hero. I'll be the Antagonist for once.
Maybe then I'll feel better... -Dan
Written May 5th, 2005
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very good
Hey Dan,
I understand how rage can build up. And like me, you turn against violence, and just write whatever you feel. To me, true inspiration comes from deep within a person's soul when they are set free from imprisonment. I loved this poem, not because it was angry, but because it was truthful. Showing emotions that not many writers can do. I need to talk to you by the way, don't forget to message me.
@-}-- Heather -
I love it!....I think that is all I can say..Your amazing!
"When the sun falls down,
And the moon won't rise,
That's when I will be
plotting your demise.
The ground will dye black;
The skies will run red;
My anger will show
and soon you'll be dead."
I love the visuals this makes me get....I love how I can feel the emotion..delicously dark.
Very excellent writting..
Sel~
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Excellent show of emotions...the anger is so perfectly justified, I feel myself backing you, cheering you on. I loved the form here, nice piece!
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It's not the poem that did it for me but the following authors comment. That my friend is something I have felt and sometimes still feel when I give in just a hair I seem to slip into my depression and feel strangled by all those who I thought loved me. I don't know how to describe it but I'm glad someone did. I always seem to feel better after I've vented on here but it always returns. Always. You have to confront the true problem. For me it's usually my love.
Thank you for sharing. This one is going down in the books!
your fellow poet,
youllneverknow
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wow dan this scared me....
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Wow, this was extreamly great. Sent a chill down and back up my spine. I loved the entire poem, but this part stuck out to me:
The ground will dye black;
The skies will run red;
My anger will show
and soon you'll be dead.
I liked that a lot, the way you described things. Applauds to you.
Take Care,
Jasmine
~P.S. THanks for commenting on my poem!~ -
This is so...wow. It literally send tingles down my spine. So different from your other peices, shows a totally different side of you. The rhyming is awesome, no weak links. I just love this write, it's so amazing. As I was reading it..it was like I could feel those emotions too, that how involve you got me in it. lol. This is amazing, and esxquisite peice of writing craftsmanship.
~Sarah~
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*hides* AHHHHH! well... remind me never to umm.... crash your car or umm poke you with a toothpick... i dont want to die! but this is fucking awesome. i love the strong feeling that came from this. fucking amazing
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*shivers* Danny....you have got to stop scaring me....*hides under desk* and...ahem not get that from anyone? *looks at you pointedly. I have a conscience too!!! I do! I do!!! Great poem despite the scariness, but I know what you were getting at so the scariness works.
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lovely darkness. contageous anger. marvelous poem.
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well done
[this poem is filled with fury- and lots of great description.] -
These feelings, swelling up inside me.
These emotions, building up within me.
This... RAGE, this ANGER, this complete and utter sensation of ANGST.
My sorrow, my passion, my love and my pain.
All of this will turn in the end.
While that stanza shows powerful emotion, the idea was merely repeated in the one after it. Though it does well for a split second of rage with a dual sensation of the calm before the storm.
The flow was nice, but the font color was hard to read against the black background. -
great!
Maaaaaan...you sent chills down my spine.And reading your author's comment...more and more chills.Powerful poem and full of emotion.You know,to not let your feelings burst out,this can be very tricky.You may end up leting them go out like an explosion and when this happens,it's better for the others to run away
.Great poem Danteku,I hope you'll find someone who cares the way you do.Best wishes 
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wow....very emotional.. i liked it and i do agree with you some people just don't care about the horrible things that they do. it was a great poem! keep it up!
~~~~~~~joei-chan. -
wow... man that was an awesome poem... the way you kept up the rythm... it does help to get it out on here doesn't it? well it was an awesome write! keep it up! Peace. ~Nick
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