Witness the gore
On the lonely battlefield
And hear the screams
Of the unworthy adversaries.
Feel the fear
Tickle your spine
As a sweat breaks out
Upon your brow.
Travel through the trenches
Of the previously fallen
And watch them as they
Sew their bodies back together.
Feel the scorching heat
Of my blistering anger
As you slowly ascend
Into my towering arena.
Step up and meet me face to face
And see the fury burn in my eyes.
My impatience has brought you here
And only surrender will save you now.
Do you think you look good
Disguised in my skin?
And if I slashed your wrist
Would you bleed my blood?
Why must you imitate me?
Even now you echo my words.
Why compete with me at being me?
You fight a losing battle.
I feel the pain as I batter you
And bruises appear on my body;
You have absorbed some of my soul
And I must squeeze it out of you.
An evil spirit hands me a torch
As my blood gushes from us.
Tears flow silently from my eyes
As I thrust the fire at you.
My skin bubbles and blisters
As I hold the fire to you
And I scream with the torment
As I urge it ever closer.
The longer you survive with me
The stronger my resentment becomes.
You are a filthy leech
And I refuse to feed you.
My blood has put out the fire
And in a blind rage I beat you.
You lay on the ground a bleeding mess
As I crumble down beside you.
You absorbed too much of me
In the time I let you linger.
Every wound to you weakens me
And with this I weep my regret.
I refuse to let you win
And yet I can no longer fight.
I resign myself to this
And demand my last resort.
Cold steel touches my palm
And I grasp it with remorse.
I realize what must be done
And I muster all my strength.
Still laying beside you
I raise the sharpened sword;
I take aim for your neck
And decapitate myself.
DAMN YOU FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE!
You couldn't find your own persona
So you tried to steal mine;
And in the process you killed us both.
Author notes
This is about a friend of mine that tries to be me. She has assumed my hobbies, friends, and life. I'm sick of it.
Different Is Good!
Written May 4th, 2005
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1 - 14 of 14
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i loved reading this poem it flowed and had a nice use of words...good luck
~Wolf~ -
With the author's comment, this becomes a very powerful write. I thought it was about suicide, yet in a sense you are killing each other. A lot of anger and resentment is in this poem. I hope it resolves well.
Andy -
raw
This was very very deep and chilling.It was mixed with raw emotions.You've done a wonderful job. Thanks for sharing it with me
Kari -
WOW
i liked the title with this piece! it went great with it! but uou need to put what option you chose or your poem will be deleted and no one wants that especially one as good as this! good luck!,
xx Emo -
This is a very scary and gruesome write. I think maybe some parts could have been said better, in a more original way. Thanks for entering and following the rules.
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Whoa...what a crazy twist on "identity theft." I didn't know exactly what I was about to read when I started, but as I read the poem, then the author's comments, you did such an amazing job and what a clever concept. Bad case of copy-cat, eh? That's got to be so annoying...haha. The imagery you used throughout was amazing. Fantastic write!
Thanks a lot for entering. Good luck in the contest.
- Alexa
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Wow. What strength your words have. I simply love the way you worked that idea - being killed by someone who loves you so much they want to be you.
"And if I slashed your wrist
Would you bleed my blood?"
"I feel the pain as I batter you"
"my blood gushes from us"
This whole poem is filled with passionate anger and raw emotions, yet somehow it's quite beautiful. Great stuff. It was fantastic to read.
Perhaps a freer form would have suited the non-rhyme better, but none-the-less, this is a killer piece of poetry.
DancingRed.
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I know what that is like and you have used metaphors and rhyme in such a way it just blew my mind. This piece is filled with anger and emotion and flows so well. I applaud you for this Ami
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whoa..you must be. good poem.
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Wow... I love the vivid imagery, the way you word it really brings out the raw anger behind the poem. It almost seemed like it would be better in prose form rather than verse though, but that's just my opinion. Anyways, this was a great write, I got pissed off just reading it and I don't even know this person.
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In the 12th line there is a typo it should be sew not sow. Sow is talking about sowing seeds in the field. Sew is I believe I will sew a quilt today. Anyways its a good one. I like it.
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Ha ha ha ha, Fatal attraction? Mabie she's got a crush on you. ha ha ha. This poem is cool, I loved it. Your such a good writer. Kick her to the moon!! lol. You got a stalker, she's just lost needing more Joy in her life. LoL love ya babe
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awesome write. It sucks when people try to be someone that they aren't. They take your life and leave you with the pieces to pick up and the cross to bare of trying to start over.
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Oooh. I know how that feels *coughCASSIEcough* and it's totally lame. *looks around* Holy crap! Did I just break this poem's comment cherry? Bwahahaha! Very beautiful and just awesome, as always.
~Stormy~
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