Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

work

Got to be working,
walking and running,
having fun laughing,
heart beating,
ears drumming
legs throbbing,

clean the floor
paint the door
Oh no more,
legs are sore,

then collapsing
so very soothing,
stretch and yawn,
no longer forlorn.

Author notes

Written May 4th, 2005

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Granny Goose silver member
    July 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful poem, Shikai. Looks like you're a busy girl these days !! You did a super job writing this...other than a couple of typos it's just about perfect.

    'legs are saw' should be sore?
    'no longer forlorne' should be forlorn
    Otherwise it's just fine.

    Your Aunt Louise has your link on her author page so I just had to come visit and read some of your poetry I'm very impressed!

    I'm starting a new contest for kids... I hope you'll check it out at www.allpoetry.com/contest/1368706
    I'll be reading more of your work ...

    Granny Goose
    Edited on Jul 04, 3:01 p.m. because ''.


  • Corpse-Groom
    June 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    (6/10)...I am very harsh at times...*6/10 = t

    ...Legs are Sore

    Other than that entirly intriguing.