So many words go unspoken,
As we linger here in the dark.
There is a thing or two I wish you to know,
But all the words seem to slip away,
As you tenderly wrap me in your embrace.
Still I wish I could find a way to say,
I never thought dreams could come true
Yet you showed me that they do.
When you came into my life.
You set my soul free,
With every kiss we share.
That from the moment I saw your face,
These feelings washed over me
Like a tidal wave against the jagged shore.
Tell me you feel the same.
Tell me there is nowhere else you would rather be,
Then here at this moment in each others arms.
So many words go unspoken
As we linger here in the dark.
Trying to find a way to let the other know
How wonderful life is here together silent in the dark.
A contest entry
- FOUR LETTERS...L O V E :) by Roxy Rae Mae.
440 points, ends December 14, 86 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Please read the rules.
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I am sorry
It was early in the morning and I didnt realize I accediently posted two into this contest. Really am sorry
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It's fine.
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Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful write...I fell straight into each tender line. The flow is lovely and held me right to the very end. So, very well done with this excellent penning. Good luck in the contest.
Shaz xx
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Very beautiful and relays a wonderful story of love. It lingers for a moment on twilight and then moves on, so I was a bit disappointed. But you stuck with the rules and weave a unique and engaging story with this poem. Only one thing- just watch your punctuation. Don't overdo it, and make sure it fits with the surrounding lines (i.e. "Tell me there is nowhere else you would rather be. Then here at this moment in each others arms." - that first period should be omitted).
Overall, great job. I felt very pleased with this pre-write. Good luck and cheers. I judge on Friday. -
I like how it flows together so well. There are a few grammatical errors; for example, you have...
"Still I wish I could find a way to say,
I never thought dreams could come true
Yet you showed me that they do,
When you came into my life."
It should be...
"Still, I wish I could find a way to say
I never thought dreams could come true,
Yet you showed me that they do.
When you came into my life
You set my sould free
With every kiss we share."
It's an over all good write. : -
Aweeee.. I just adore a good love poem and this one is lovely.. Thanks for sharing and keep writing
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Thank you for being so supportive of other poets' work. You get bonus points.
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beautiful. *heart*
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Wonderfully and beautifully romantic
Thank you so much for sharing and for being part of the contest! -
very good write. thanks for entering and best of luck!
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Great
I can understand the feelings of this. I have been in the same boat, and not know how to tell my spuose somewthing that I thought she needed to know. The ONE thing that I do tell her EVERY day is "I LOVE YOU". Please always tell them that you love them. It is never said enough.
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wow this is good i like how you talk of the dakr of being slient in the dark
Good luck in my contest
OMG i am going to have a hard time judging this contest. -
*sigh* I love this piece-- but it doesn't follow the rules of my contest. If you go back and fix your author's comments, then PLEASE re-enter!
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Wonerful creation here. Great write.
Good luck
be blessed -
Nicely done..thanx for entering and keep up the great work!
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well written hun
a great write
good luck in the contest
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Wow! This poem is very very good! I loved the way the emotion was shown through your writing! Thank you so much for entering and good luck!
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Very interesting and full of deep feelings.
Good luck! -
Very Powerful yet beautiful write, i was blown away on how detailed and emotional it was. This is an awesome write, good job and good luck
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Wow, this is beautiful. So romantic *dreamy sigh* it's so sweet and heartfelt and it made my heart twist (in a good way) You are lucky to have found true love - Keep it up and best of luck.
~Lana
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This is brilliant. The end spoke loudest to me, it is beautiful! Love poems are hard to write, the title made me think that the poem would be about something dark, but you have written this wonderfull... Great write... Thank you for entering and good luck.
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* : ~ : * Becky * : ~ : * -
my first reading was arrogant
Having judged your poem ...
I think it easy to write a love poem; however, you have non-standard metaphors, admission of being human, and it seems a very real human love, without loss of intensity of the emotion itself. And you've described uncomfortable comfortable silences quite well. Keep writing! -
good things
i love the emotions present here. i do not understand your choice of imagery of the jagged shore. i get the tidal wave as a powerful surgence of emotion, but why be a jagged shore? or is that truly how you see yourself?
if you were going for honest, i cannot say its wrong.
if you were going for effect, i'd suggest something different
regardless, very nice write -
This is wonderful - it beautifully portrays passion and love very tasfefully and emotionally.....very impressive. Thanks so much for entering, I appreciate your entry! Again, job very well done!
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Beautifully crafted. Emotional and strong. great job.
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Very emotional and heartfelt write. Did not drag on, and the point was clearly presented. Great job, very well written. Thanx for entering my contest!
Edited on May 04, 2:12 p.m. because ''.
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