Im sorry for not treating you right,
Im sorry for not telling you I loved you every night.
Im sorry if I hurt you, or told a lie,
Im sorry if I made you cry.
Its too late to tell you this I know,
But I just wish that I could show,
How much you meant to me and the love I felt
And to look into your eyes, my heart would melt.
Your graceful eyes that saw me for who I am,
You are the perfect example of God's plan.
Your body, its slender, its grace,
Your laughter, your personality, your face.
Im watching you now, as you sit and cry,
your head in your hands as you repeat the word 'bye'.
I wish I could hold you once more my friend
and our love we could forever mend.
But im dead, and theres nothing i can do,
But sit here and watch you,
as you fall to pieces at my cold corpse,
These are my final thoughts...
Author notes
Trying to explore feelings from another view
Written May 4th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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great poem... its very deep and also very true...
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Wonderful peom!! Lovely described!
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Wow.
This kind of makes me think of a poem that my grandfather wrote while he was dying.
He said a few of the things you said here.
I am amazed at how well you captured something from such a different point of view and got it down so correctly.
Awesome.
Also,for some reason I feel compelled to tell you about a poem I recently wrote called "Dear Grandpa."
Because it is about the same man I mentioned above.
I wrote it recently as closure and thought maybe you'd want to read it.
Again, I think this poem is wonderful.
<3
Jordyn -
Amazing. I love it. There's no more for me to say. I love the rhythm, the rhyme, the... yea. It flows so perfectly, and it keeps the reader's attention. It's one thing to catch attention-it's another to keep it. Well done.
~Anais~ -
Wow, this is a very powerful exploration into the thoughts of this man, dying in the presence of a person who seems to mean so much to him. Very well written, and incredibly emotive!
This is excellent, well done!
~Huntress~ -
What a good effort. A little wobbly in places but definitely something that deserves the title Poetry. Keep writing
Jim Saville -
wow *blood stained tears run down sky's face* this is amazing stuff, well written, yes this is properly what people think of in their last moments and you've written this beauitful, nice work. l8az love ya sky xxxx
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AWWWWWW *cries* This is soo sad, but heart felt, great picture you have managed to create, well done and thankyou for sharing this, keep it up
x
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Aww, this is so sad, yet so great. I love it. I wish I could applaud it, and I would.. yet I'm out of applauds, lol. Once again, wonderful write. You NEVER let me down. Keep in touch!
Lata
Love
xX_Da Peanut_Oo -
thanks for your comment!
you are talented as well.
<3 -
damn it! u never fail to fill me with emotion. sometimes u read a poem n feel that the ryming and the forced structure detracts from the emotion and meaning, but you seem to have written this with all 4 pieces flawlessly fitting together. well done. all the best. lil butterfly
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this is really good and your a good writer better than me!! well done huni
x -
awww, this is so sad
*sob* excellent write!!! keep up the amazing work hunni bunch! oneday you'll rule the world.
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