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Farewell, Farewell

Shadows cast
       by feelings lost.
Windmills turn
       by sandy storms.
Goosebumps live
       by frozen touch.
Teardrops fall
       by echoing words.

Farewell,
       farewell.
This sun has to set.
       Leaves have to wither,
Goodbye must be said.

Tides ebb
       by lunar pull.
Tides rise
       by lunar thrust.
Ray of light
       by sun alone.
Sad stare
       by day and night.

Farewell,
       farewell.
This plane has to fly.
       Wings drift south,
Valediction cried.

Author notes

In reply to Mr Greenleaf's
"I'm Letting You Go"

It's all over now
The Spring has ended
The roses withered
The merriment's gone
I'm letting you go.

It's all over now
The love birds singing
Flew away somewhere
The melody's gone
I'm letting you go.

It's all over now
The fireplace embers
Darkening to die
The warmth of love's gone
I'm letting you go.

It's all over now
The candle melted
The dinner's no more
My special guest's gone
I'm letting you go.

It's all over now
My heart is aching
It's unbearable
Yet life must go on
I'm letting you go.
Written May 3rd, 2005

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Poetprncess
    May 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    It holds a nice steady flow and uses fresh imagery...Interesting poem! Good luck! Liz


  • May 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    this seems to be lacking in emotional intensity.


  • Razzberry
    May 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful imagery

    I love the feel of this poem and the thought that was put into it.... The first stanza was outstanding. The whole poem was full of delicious imagery. "Goosebumps live.. by frozen touch" (Only one of my favorite)I thought the repetitions of "Farewell, Farewell" was a great touch that really added to the piece. The ending stanza ... to me ... was perfection. A beautiful ending for a beautiful write.

    I truly loved this write,
    Bonnie


    Edited on May 05, 2:29 because '*'.


  • VF Evangelista
    May 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    cool

    Cool! You just replied in one of my poem quite well. Though it did fit, I got a feeling that something's lacking...wait...just a feeling I say. I never expected the imagery you put in the first three stanza but Lo! I was surprised it was all about a flying airplane in the the concluding last stanza. Great write! Hmmmmm...okey...expect something...