Sanguine sun slowly sinks
Behind copper dunes.
Marooned in crimson sky
Bloodshot clouds
Coquettishly blush their shame -
my Titian companion sprawled
Nakedly beside me, my scarlet woman
Flaming hair triumphantly
Tossed upon salmon sands
Pink skin roseate in
Dusk's vermillion glow.
Presently the last ruby rays
Will flicker thru terracotta haze
And inflamed passion sated,
She will go.
Author notes
Picture inspired
Written May 2nd, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything At All by Heavenly Angel.
26000 points, ended June 9, 2007, 100 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Romantic Fantasy by ennovy.
700 points, ended July 8, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lots of options and fun by trekkergirl.
600 points, ended October 8, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~*!!SO MANY OPTIONS!!*~ by cbsbecm88.
450 points, ended October 15, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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very good poem! not exactly what i was looking for but overall very nice and descriptive! good luck!
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Thanks for putting your option # in the AN. You did well with your prompt. And your background only adds to the poem. Good job. Good write.
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this write is blazing with a fire of heated love and passion.....thanks for entering.....
novy & Brazos.
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Beautiful imagery in this one, made me see all that "red" stuff, good job. Thanks for entering, and good luck in the contest.
Novy & Brazos -
Beautifully done this is! Soft, sensual and just lovely; thank you for sharing
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Beautiful
It floats. It hovers above the lover's bodies, kissing and caressing them as they play. The very light is like a gentle tease. This is beautiful and sensual without the need for vulgar description. The salience of the imagery touches like a feather. -
Thanks for your kind words, much appreciated. I did agree with earlier comments on over-use of adjectives, but I like to try to write lyrically, and sometimes it's fun to see how far over-the-top you can go!
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I liked this poem..a lot. The use of words is amazing.
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This is beautiful, I, myself love the adjectives, after all I am sure you have realized what a love I have for words. I think these adjectives are what capture the attention, your imagery is exquisite. Very wonderfully penned.
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Mary,
I agree, it's pretty syruppy alright! But the contest theme was 'Red, and plenty of it'. Maybe I overdid it, I dunno. I don't think you'll find my original writes so stuffed with sugary descriptive words, but I've been trying to use the contests to stretch my writing a bit, forcing me to create situations outside my experience etc. ( never slept with a redhead on a beach, honestly! ) If this write had been self-inspired, I think I'd have toned it down ( pardon the pun ).
Appreciate all of your comments as ever
PJ
Edited on May 03, 10:49 because ''. -
Beautiful picture you painted through your eloquent words. Thank you for the good read. Cheers and goodluck! Eris
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Nice imagery, but I'm with the other commenter, you use a lot of adjetives which is good, but it interupts the overall flow. I think you handle it well however, you put the words right where they should be.
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ahhhh... so this is your poetry! Such pretty sound words. The only thing i would suggest is that it is maybe just too thick with adjectives? I like the terracotta haze.. that says so much.
M
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