I am awaken by tummy rumblings and flatulence - hunger i hope.
I lie among the pillows a few minutes longer, waiting for the onslaught to dissipate (*sigh*) but the discomfort lingers, and the flatulence burns.
My pounding heart nails me to the bed "O Lord let it pass!"
God ignores my distress and with sudden strength my bowels move my heart and my flesh out of sanity and into the unclean.
Feverish fingers arm themselves with ethanol and bleach, Clorox wipes and enough tissue to drape the horrid seat.
Trembling legs reach the door, begging my heart to stop its awful screaming.
Gloves squish from sweating palms, I pause at the door, the pain is intense....
I faint,
My shit hits the floor!
Author notes
*doodle bug's the poodle pup*
i kinda used free verse , hope u find it as silly as i did lol 
Written May 2nd, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- I Want To LOL... Not just giggle! by LilMrsAttitude.
300 points, ended May 8, 2005, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Lol
This was a good poem yet also quite disgusting Keep writing, this was excellent
All the best,
Pozo
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hehe thanks.
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Ewww!!! LOL!! Gross as this poem is (the subject matter, i mean) it brought a smile to my face! I like the free verse of it all, it goes well with the... err.. spontinaity of the situation! Hilarious! Hope it does well in the contest
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its not a poem .. free verse
thanks for the comment -
Okay....I don't know really what to say. It's not something that I would normaly read. I didn't think it was much of a poem. But that is just my opinion. I didn't think it was funny at all. Good luck in the contest though.
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Reminds me of me.
Oh lord and I thought that only I had days like that. -
lol thanks
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Thank you so much for sharing this. At first when I saw the title and the dog background I thought that you woke up to find a pile from "man's best friend!" I really appreciate you doing this option. I figured that it would be relatively easy since there were so many options that you could choose from. This is really funny in a perverse sorta way! LOL Thank you for entering and good luck in our contest.
~ *DJ* ~
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oops i forgot to say this was the "phobia" choice. lol-- scatophobia (fear of fecal matter) and mysophobia(fear of germs). enjoy
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