Along a path of withered leaves,
Through a forest of the tallest trees,
Through fields lush with wild flowers,
And hills tall with waving grasses;
On the banks of the calmest lakes,
In the foam of the tided oceans,
Across the stone paths of flowing streams,
And in the ripples of a million ponds.
Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring,
Coming full circle, birth and death;
The birds fly and the creatures roam,
The sun warms and the moon calms.
Skip with me through the Autumn leaves,
And skate along the Winter ponds;
Pick for me some bright Spring flowers,
And dance with me in the Summer air.
Take me there, to the highest point,
Take me along those paths so wide.
Meet me in the fields so vast,
Join me in the miracle of birth and of death.
Author notes
The photograph is copyright 2004. It is a personal, original image. Do not take it without permission.
Written May 1st, 2005
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magical
you are a talented writer, with the beauty that you project in your words it makes me leave my reality and move to a place that you've created, and with pleasure and great ease i travel along the road that you paved, and feeling as though you did it just for me.. very personal, for you of course, but also for me and those who choose to take the tour of your world that you've made possible through your words!
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WOW!!! This is an awesome poem Auntie Erin!!! You did a great job!!! It is so descriptive!!! And the picture is BEAUTIFUL!!!
Hugs,
Beth -
Penny: Thank you. I really value your comments on my work. I have a very high respect for you as a poet (and as a person, of course!), so your kind words are an honor.
Edited on May 01, 11:09 p.m. because ''. -
thelordreigns: Ok, I had to look at that a few times. But I am agreeing. I actually agreed before I saved the poem, but I wasn't sure of it. You backed that up. I'm going to fix that around a little bit and see how it works. Thank you!
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amaranth816: Took your, suggestions and tried to reword. I like the outcome, so it's staying. Much thanks for the suggestions!
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Mmm. It's happy and depressing all at the same time. lol I love it.
I wish my newest piece sounded more like this! Than I'd definitely be a smashing hit. *sighs* I'll stick with second to last place and put a white flag as my banner. I give up...for now. I loved this piece. It shows your talent with such perfect imagery. I actually hate the seasons which doesn't make any sense but I do love your poem...which doesn't make any more sense combined with the first comment. Oh well, I bet it'd bed time...huh...
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I love this poem. The images are beautiful. You did a great job with the meter. May I make a sugeestion? The last 5 lines seem misplaced in the poem. What if you made the 4th stanza the stanza with the 4 separate season lines? Then make the last 5th stanza the first 3 lines of the original 4th stanza and leave the last line the last line in the 5th. Then the 5th stanza would read "take me.../take me.../meet me..../join me.....???? Just a thought. nicely done! I think I'll read more of your poems Wolfbard. - joanne
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Nice job! Your use of imagery was lovely. I could really see everything you were describing. The world is such a beautiful place, but it is so underappreciated! Thank you for drawing attention to the everyday miracles that are occurring around us. I have a couple of small suggestions about word choice... I think that "dried out" should be "dried", "withered", "dead", or something other than "dried out" because that feels too informal and the word "out" kinda ruins its impact. Also, I would change "tiding" to "tided". I'm not sure if it's a word or not, but I think it sounds better. Very nice job! Keep up the good work!
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This is very beautiful. You are very good at writing nature poems. This is one of the best I've read. Great imagery. Much love, sis Penny
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