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The Stars Jest




I hired a hooker
just to talk
of things profound
innately known
like, which hand dominates
with finesse and skill

to know another
(in a way not quite mutual)
mild puzzled humor
at my questions of need
and the trading
of energy-
the escape
of calories
and loss...

Ideas less than thought
foundations for card houses
and glass
sanctuaries-
the clarity of an empty
dark well
drowning
your voice

The stars only whisper
your name in jest-
the real you
would never hear...


Author notes

Written November 10th, 2002

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Comments

1 - 50 of 50

  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    uh oh. I sense a whisperer of revelations here.

    "The real name would never hear"...This tenderly tells the reader to go to the next level of though.

    Beautifully expressed.


    • kyew
      May 15
      Edit | Reply
      sorry, meant to thank you last night but lost my internet and got fed up and went to bed lol

      thanks for reading nice to see you still around the place


  • Manicmuze
    May 14
    Edit | Reply
    i think i'll just say "wow" for once...lol
    ~ w


    • kyew
      May 14
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for reading, wendy hope things are going well with you.


  • Unbridled1
    June 3, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    well strangely, i saw your name the other day and thought...hmmm...i know that name! lol. So, i'll be back...i'm just busy and slow here these days...but yeah, i'll be back. lol

    UB

  • kyew
    June 3, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    surely you jest!

    lol, I know it's been a while since you commented on this but I couldn't resist

    thanks for reading so long ago


  • kyew
    January 20, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    awww, thanks lisa. you're too sweet :)


  • kyew
    January 20, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    ah, but my intention was to send you on your OWN trip... lol
    thanks for reading, wish


  • twisted butterfly
    January 11, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    came back to read this again......
    still love it as before

    Lisa x

  • WishOnMars
    January 1, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    My take on it was that it was a trip within your own psyche to find answers that no one else could know. It was a wonderful experience to take that trip with you -- even tho it wasn't your intention. Excellent write.


  • kyew
    December 7, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for reading all
    I've been away for a while but I appreciate it all the same :)

  • amphibianrose
    December 6, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    Wow deep stuff dude!!! Was wondering if you fell off the face of the earth after you did this piece. That hooker killed you didn't she??? LOL. Hope things are well with you dear!!!


  • Emmerson
    November 30, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    Very interesting & quite profound write Travis ............ the stars do jest don't they :(.


  • kvwriter silver member
    November 28, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    Travis, this is a very deep, profound, poignant write that really caused me to stop and consider life, in general. And, the way you pulled all the abstract and tangible elements together was simply great! I love this! Going into my 'Favs' selection! Wow! Beautiful write! ;)Kelly

  • Cinara
    November 24, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    You have a deep and rare perspective of life that I so enjoy reading. You turn the most mundane event into a readers heartfelt personal experience of the moment, and the best is the way it's written.

  • Unbridled1
    November 20, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    Love the way you pulled this together, each stanza seems a little tale unto itself...and together, paints a fabulous picture. And i love the word 'jest,' so this just jumped out at me. :)

  • kyew
    November 14, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    I'm pleased it did that for you, red
    that's the second best thing about writing- someone else being touched by it.
    the first best thing is....

    getting out of my head! lol :D

    thanks, red :)


  • Redstormy gold member
    November 14, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    Kyew this is awesome...I can't say why but it touched my heart. I love the way you ended it. Don't be so sure she never would hear. ;)

    Red

  • kyew
    November 14, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    thanks leah
    that's so true about getting what you want/need from a poem at the time of reading it. I think it's just a grasping of one's mind for something familiar in a foriegn concept.
    thanks for reading, sweety


  • kyew
    November 14, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    danna and jenn... I'm still trippin off the perspective that danna had... lol
    thanks for reading, jenn


  • leahcullen
    November 14, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    Yea, I thought this piece would be ssooooo completely different, just by the title, but this is BRILLIANTLY done!! I really loved it!! I dunno, it's kinda sad!! Well, I think it is any who, I guess everyone picks up poetry in what ever way they need to at the time of reading it! But I thought that this was sooo brilliantly written!! :-) Well done sweet heart! Miss you tons, even when your here!! :-)

    Love,
    Me


  • froglover80
    November 13, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    that was totally different than I thought...Danna had me read it, and I personally took the poem as an abstract second reality, stepping out of yourself and into a parrallel dimension, but then I read your take (which took FOREVER) and saw something different...nice work indeed a good write ~~Jenn

  • kyew
    November 13, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    rofl! lit class!
    I love the way you made me look at this
    me myself would never have dreamed of this having a sexual theme but after your own insights into it, I look and see that in it too... lol

    if it were my lit class, you would pass... lol
    I love being surprised into looking at something a new way
    but I have to say it's more a philosophical theme than sexual

    the hooker was only a way to say 'I paid to talk to someone' which is a spoof on society in general

    innately known is like this...
    how do you know you're right handed (if you are)? you just know.
    it's the hand that does things the best. why? both hands are equal dimensions for the most part and should be equally capable of doing the same thing. anyway...

    to know someone in a not quite mutual way- if this had been true to life, I would have studied the conversation, her voice, her attitude, her mannerisms... but this hooker has very little interest in the 'john' and just smiled and wondered why the hell someone would hire her for something other than sex. another spoof on society.

    the trading of energy- whatever you eat is energy. you buy food. money is energy in society. we trade energy- I get this much money a day in trade for expending this amount of energy.

    now here it gets more philosophical
    'Ideas less than thought
    foundations for card houses
    and glass
    sanctuaries-'
    your instincts- your natural reactions... these take very little thought... but they're the base- the foundation- of all natural thought
    the thoughts you THINK are the fragile houses. overkill, to have a foundation like that with such a flimsy structure built upon it.

    the empty nothing drowning your voice is the absence of self.

    'The stars only whisper
    your name in jest-
    the real you
    would never hear...'
    a continuation of the self-less idea...
    the real person in everyone has no ego
    a paradox most people don't believe to be true... possibly the biggest spoof on society... lol

    hope this clears it up for you
    thanks for reading, danna


  • Danna Hobart
    November 13, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    Okay, I'll give it a shot here... feel like I'm in a Lit class...LOL.

    I see a lot of irony in the first stanza... talking with a hooker about things that are philosophical...
    which hand dominates... is that referring to how she uses them in preforming .... her, um... job?

    to know another
    (in a way not quite mutual)

    This is speaking of falatio?

    mild puzzled humor
    at my questions of need
    and the trading
    of energy-
    the escape
    of calories
    and loss...

    Ejaculation?


    Ideas less than thought

    A statememnt that the drive for sex is not on the same level as thought.

    foundations for card houses
    and glass
    sanctuaries-

    the image of two very fragile structures. Like the fagilty of a purely sexual relationship?

    the clarity of an empty
    dark well
    drowning
    your voice

    Empty, dark, and drowning. Very negative symbols.

    The stars only whisper
    your name in jest-
    the real you
    would never hear...

    This stanza leads to questions... would she not hear because she never shuts up long enough to hear? Or she never listens to anyone?

    Did I pass?


  • kyew
    November 13, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    thanks monk :)


  • haikumonk gold member
    November 12, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    Came back and read it again. Still think it is awesome. Plain and simple.

    Monk


  • kyew
    November 12, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    thanks adriana
    yeah, it could be that way
    thanks for showing it to me in a new light :)


  • April Renee
    November 12, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    wow
    very interesting
    makes the reader think
    could be read as is
    or broken down into seperate parts
    all that would eventually lead to one meaning
    loved the read

    ~*~adriana~*~


  • kyew
    November 11, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    thannks you two
    it hit me when I opened the poem the next day and read it again


  • Kalexi
    November 11, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    Excellent title, Travis:)

    Karen

  • Robbo
    November 11, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    Cool title.

  • kyew
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    natural is the way they always come out, mushika
    I rarely write with the intention of confusing
    and you have this dead-on. humanity as a whole makes every one of us a droplet falling from a great height, changing and reforming- misting and condensing once again as we plunge back into the river from which we came. show me the droplet in that majestic river and I will show you the Buddha... lol

    thanks for reading, mushika

  • kyew
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    lol, I'm putting you in your OWN catagory, anna...
    think of humanity and the 'egolessness' of being no one in particular when surrounded by so many other no ones.
    then read again... it may be a little clearer then
    thanks for reading :)

  • mushika
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    Put me in the category of enjoyed it and found. I know you are a profound and sophisticated writer, but this seemed so natural, so much about being human.

    Like the title.

    Ideas less than thought
    foundations for card houses
    and glass
    sanctuaries-
    the clarity of an empty
    dark well
    drowning
    your voice


    That just floored me,

    I guess I read this as a poem of escape: escape through narrative.

  • wiccatarot
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    ummmmmmmmmm....ok.......put me in the category of enjoyed the read but totally lost...and yes i have read it more then thrice........hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

  • kyew
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    it's ok, Di... everyone gets something different from poems
    not even necessary to 'get it' at all, just enjoy what you experience :)
    thanks for reading


  • dianes
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    ok thought bout it....each verse says so much in its own way,
    each giving it's own message, its the combination of all of them that really makes the reader have to think...but the again you are always good at makin ppl go hmmmmmmmm.....

  • dianes
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    u know sometimes when i read ur writes please dont take this the wrong way i feel extemely dense.....
    i mean i have to think bout them reread some of them several times....but i guess thats what makes me enjoy reading them....i like when a write makes me think.


  • kyew
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    thank you, monk
    I appreciate your visit


  • haikumonk gold member
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    Another enjoyable read, Travis. Thanks.

    Monk


  • kyew
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    thanks lisa
    I'm glad my ramblings give you pleasure :)


  • twisted butterfly
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    through jest they taunted
    whispering your name gently
    silence spoke volumes


  • kyew
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    thank you, karen
    sorry, I thought you knew my name... lol
    well, you do now ;)

  • twisted butterfly
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    there is a very sensual suggestion to the first and second stanzas, with a more loving and abstract suggestion to the third.

    foundations for card houses and glass sanctuaries keeps drawing my eye back. something that has a weak structure that could crumble at any time, or a structure that could be shattered easily. this has to be my favourite poem of yours up to now, and that is saying a lot because i have a lot of favourites within your work. little bits of this just keep jumping out at me and i ty so much for posting this hon.

    Lisa x

  • twisted butterfly
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    travis this is an extremely interesting idea for a poem. the three stanzas are completely separate but interlock as you read the poem. its one of those read more than once to appreciate the meaning poems. i wouldnt like to hazard a guess at a title because there seems to be a couple of themes permeating here.

    i love this and am going to have to read it a few more times and see if anything else jumps out at me to comment on.

    hugs

    Lisa x

  • Kalexi
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    Travis,now I know your name!!! This was a very deep and complex write, I loved the last stanza:) The whole piece, just made me go,hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm:):)

    Take care,

    Karen


  • kyew
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    yup, thanks for reading and taking stab at it.. lol

  • Robbo
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    i know it was a poor attempt, but, then again at least i tried.
    Edited by Robbo on Nov 10 because 'i have so got to buy a dictionary.'.


  • kyew
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    doesn't quite fit my perception of the poem but thanks for the suggestion
    and thanks for reading, simon

  • Robbo
    November 10, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    Travis, firstly as for a title, i was thinking about - Hire me your ear. just a thought. as for the piece, i liked the inner meaning, what do we hear? and what can we learn?
    great Piece.

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