I want to say how little you mean to me
How much better off I am
How much happier
How you are less than nothing
I want to say that I regret
Each word unsaid, each instant
Each agonizing falsely weighted silence
Let them die now and trouble me no more
I want to feel it, every word
Feel its venom, bitter sweet
Course through each sigh, each frost-flame blush
Ebonize from the inside out, brittle and blackening
I want to say I hate you
Those three words, my salvation,
But all you are and all you do
Has made me so much more than, worse than numb
I want to say I hate you
And I want it to be real
And I want to be free of you
You, who are everything to me,
Who is nothing to you
Author notes
Option 1
This poem is what I am feeling right now. There's this guy I like, and he's a mate, but nothing more, and it's tearing me apart. If I could shut off the feeling I would, but I can't, and this poem is about that.
Written April 29th, 2005
A contest entry
- Grey Shades of Love and Life (contest) by Tecolote.
300 points, ended May 8, 2005, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Hey, thanks for your comment - even your comments are beautifully poetic
and thanks for the advice... Hopefully this chapter has reached its conclusion now.. The smoke rises, and though it may sting the eyes, it spirals away on the breeze, leaving the bittersweet nostalgic scent, but none of the pain
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Sometimes one chooses to write a poem and toss it inside a bottle on the sea, sometimes it can be put inside an envelope to reach a foreign land, a cherished hand, and sometimes just be a way of expelling all the anger and dissapointment, have the piece of paper in front of you and either burn it or see it written, outside of you, like something that maybe it will no longer be a part of you and indeed a good way to cope with moving on and leaving an unwanted past behind. Very good choice of words and structure that make emphasis in releasing the anger and hate, and showing what this person now means to you. Perhaps the words may burn and the confusion will disappear in smoke.
"Each agonizing falsely weighted silence
Let them die now and trouble me no more"
Those lines packed very much the entire feeling of your write!
All the best ~ Juan Anguas
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Yeah, I'm okay... no worries. This poem was wonderfully cathartic, more than anything else. It's just damn confusing.
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Ooo, let's guess who this is about :S You ok? I'm always here if you wanna talk.
About the poem, I really like the repition of "I want" - it's really effective, and emphasises the point. As usual, cool word choice. Great poem, but he's an idiot
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Hey, Thanks a million. Keep smiling and stay strong, okay huni?
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Very heartfelt
Hey I can relate to this totally. I always have people in my life who mean the world to me but I don't mean a thing to them, and I wish I could just hate them for what they make me feel but I just can't. I really hope this feeling fades away, cuz it can eventually. Its great to see a poem from you huni, cuz your poetry is so amazing. If only you came with me and Miriam to our writers circle, everyone would love your work. Well done and write more please!
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