I will not forget
Your icy finger remains
buried in my burnt shoulder
We stood between walls
the hall of remembrance
Those were better times
I thought
I held a brothers hand
before and after
their footsteps filled with sand
and the wind carried voice
of a father
torn between
fondness and longing
I press my ear against the cold
to hear his silent wisdom
I miss stories held
captive within wrinkles
now trapped
behind glass and time
My gaze moves on to the blankness
because it must
destiny to be,
for what will
will become
has now begun
Seek now refuge
in salvation
Author notes
Written April 28th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
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Good write
This is indeed a good write. I think that you put a lot of time into this and that impresses me. Your form, expression, and words you used to express yourself motivates me and is very striking. Wonderful Job and Keep penning!!!! Take care and have a nice day/night!
Casey
Blessed BE -
WoW This is so very moving and captivating. Its always nice to read a poem that people have written about to death. This has a sadness yet a hopeful tone to the poem. You have a way with words and bringing them to life and making them hit right in the heart of the reader, and that's awesome. Beautifully penned.
s
♥Christina -
Deep enough to make you want to dig farther
Captive in wrinkles gives me chills, too something that reaches with in the soul and drags it kicking and screaming into a new age -
Excellent.
Again, you have moved me to wonder where this verse began taking shape. These lines: "I miss stories held
captive within wrinkle" in particular, have a nostalgic effect on me, yet there is such foreboding of pending doom written here. Excellent work as always. Impressive as I would expect. -
I appreciate the comment which I find intelegently words and polite. It's difficult to answer how long this piece took me to write. I'd have to say I worked on it off and on for a couple of months and it is part of a larger working. I believe that you will find it is rare to have someone sit down and write a truly inspiring piece without spending a large amount of time re-writing over and over. So often we see on this sight and others people who churn out many poems in a day most of which are used mainly as a means to vent some form of hurt but how often do you actually read something poetic? I encourage you to write, and then to rewrite. Nothing wrong with taking enough time to create something special. Thanks again for your great comment.
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silent excelent :)
I like your style. I've never seen anything like it before. I like the way you are able to mix words like icy finger, remains burried, silent wisdom, I can't imagine these things like you do. I would like to know how much time it took you to write this. Please give me back a comment and tell me somethings about your poetry. I will look for some other poems written by you.
I'm waiting your comment on this comment and on my poems.
Thank you very much
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