Your weathered floor of clay
betrays the many years
you have stood watch
in the historical city of Manila.
Unseen eyes have viewed
thousands of gold-tinted sunsets,
enamored with listless dark silhouettes
set against a backdrop
of the pink-tinged heavens.
You have become
a passive witness
to the emboldening care,
shy glances, and mellow kisses
shared by the dreamy couples
that wander in your open arms.
With you, they watch
the waves lap hungrily
at the gargantuan boulders of the jetty.
Underneath the setting sun,
the rippling waters appear to have
flame-tipped tongues-
The gentle breeze laughs
at the silliness of the idea,
and you would have
gladly basked in its mirth,
had it not been for the adjourning day.
The rosy sky, accompanied by the
red, orange, and yellow
of the setting sun,
bring forth
a plethora of bright colors
that welcome the coming
of the eve's dark velvet presence.
As the moon and the stars
reveal themselves to the skygazers,
you focus on one
particularly bright star
and remember that fateful day,
decades back,
when young Rizal's blood
stained the once perfect ground.
Author notes
Luneta is a place in Manila, a park overlooking Manila de Bay 
it is a historical place, and it is also where the Philippine National Hero got killed x.x
Written April 28th, 2005
A contest entry
- Allwrite Magazine Poetry Contest (adults 20 and over) May, Prewrites Accepted by Runawaytrain.
300 points, ended May 8, 2005, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Wow. This is a wonderful poem. Again, it was well written and structured. Your poems are as good as your stories. I love them! *finds more to read*
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Came back to read this again. It is a beautiful poem. Thanks for entering.
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Ah soda, remember you once thought you cxouldn't write poetry?
I love he gold tipped tongues line, and the whole poem is wonderful ^_^ *claps* Bravo my dear, bravo
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OMG!!!!!!!!!! This is beautiful! It painted a picture so vividly in my mind, I felt like I was there! Bravo! Great job soda!
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Sounds interesting. Maybe you could IM me the details of how it works. Are poets voted out of the competition?
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Hello Rach,
I know I've been gone there for 4 years now , but as I read this old memories came rushing back...... very well done my dear
Angel
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APTP is a reality game- like contest that I am holding here on AP.
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Hello, Justin. What exactly is the APTP contest?
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excellent
yabang ni soda.i loved your image of luneta and how you mixed in images of the old and the new.good luck with the contest. -
Your imagery stands out all through this write and it really hits a punch in the readers stomach. The writing is so crisp and I love how you have done your homework on the history of Manila and actually included that in your authors notes. I really enjoyed this piece it is one of the best writes I have seen in this contest so far.
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Excellent
Soda, you are truly gifted and talented. This is wonderful, deep meaning and so picturistic You write of all that is around us and many people are never aware of the beauties that you describe.
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I don't usually agree with the poeple from Allwrite Magazine, but in this case, I have to agree with Justin. This is very elegant, although I can't imagine how anybody could think that Manila is in Africa. Anyway, this is a well done, and I enjoyed reading it.
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Hello Rachel,
I'm Justin from the APTP Contest. I want to thank you for your entry, and I wish you the best. Results will be up in a day or so, so stay tuned.
Halfway through reading I began to wonder how this would sound outloud. I began reading it, and found that it had such an elegant ring to it when actually speaking it. The words seemed to seep a greater message when I did that. It was quite enjoyable.
I find it interesting. My attention span often runs astray quite quickly. This was a lengthy poem, yet I found that my interest was kept on the poem at all times. You were able to engauge me, and really pull me through it.
Best of luck once again, and thanks.
Justin -
Great write. Loved it. Keep it up!
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Very nice poem. I like it. It flowed so freely and you could just ride along on the words. Very dreamy and relaxing to read. The historical references are great too, very thoughtful. I really enjoyed this work.
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Wonderful poem, very beautiful imagery. Historical reference and personification mixes well in this. I found no spelling or grammar errors to point out and you've also used correct punctuation. This flows smoothly and draws the reader in and recreates this place in their mind. You've included an author's comment for reference if people are unaware of the background. I could only make one suggestion- "red, orange, and yellow" are pretty basic color words, if you wanted to go a step further and use synonyms it would make this poem all the more eloquent. I use thesaurus.com when I'm looking for a new way to say something. Really excellent job, good luck in the contest!
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Love it-all I can realy say
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Read it three times and love the images you conjure. Was unaware of the Africa connection until seeing the priro comment, but a well done piece. Good luck in the contest, this is a winner in any event.
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I love this. I must read it again and again to attempt to grasp all the delicious nuances, but...wow. I've done some stuff on Africa, myself, so...I know where you're coming from. But this blew my socks off...amazing
Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
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