What can be said of mothers now that’s not been said before?
What aspects of the things they do are still to be explored?
What do mother’s seek to leave when they depart this earth?
What legacy’s been planted here, what thing of priceless worth?
A mother holds a newborn babe in wonder and in fright,
Its tiny hands and tiny feet, she marvels at the sight.
Awestruck by the life she holds, entrusted to her hands,
All the things the babe must learn, will they understand
That as the years race swiftly by, the lessons that they hear
Are meant to help them cope with life, and not just interfere.
At first they’ll look with wond'ring eyes, then do just what you say;
In later years you’ll be ignored, not much to do but pray.
Then one day they’re on their own, you’ve watched them leave the nest.
With falt’ring heart you see them go, hoping for the best.
At last the shackles fall away and they are free to roam,
Until one day to your surprise, you see them “headin’ home.”
A smiling face, a loving hug, they want to sit and chat.
What’s up, you think, who is this child and what the heck is that?
They look you squarely in the eye, a look that warms your heart,
And tell you in these last few years you’ve gotten really smart.
Your eyes begin to cloud a bit, you’re not sure what to say;
The child you watched escape the nest is not who’s here today.
You try to speak, your voice is gone, so all you do is smile,
You had your doubts, but now they're gone: it truly was worthwhile.
Author notes
Our church asked me to write something that could be given to all the mothers as a momento on Mother's Day. I came up with this and am anxious to get any thoughts, suggestions, changes, etc., that anyone might see.
Written April 27th, 2005
A contest entry
- mothers day poems by x Bright Eyes x.
525 points, ended March 15, 2007, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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i thought this was good and very nice indeed your picture goes with your write great thanks for entering and good luck
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Aaaaahhhh, that was beautiful. And a horrible truth. Our poor mothers always get the short end of the stick. You told this beautifully from a outsiders perspective (as if looking in) And I love the part about the mother holding a new born filled with fear for the responsiblity she has in her arms. The idea scared the heck out iof me. That is prbably why I don't have any kids of my own. Love the theory, fear the practice.
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I can only concur with everything Queenie has already said above... As the mother of a son that has already left the nest and a daughter already practising her wings, you've captured the emotions absolutely perfectly in beautiful words and rhyme. A truly wonderful tribute to mothers all over the world. Thank you.
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as a mother of adult children,i would be proud to hear this being read to me.it captures all the essence of motherhood.not a word should you change.you may want to make sure plenty of tissue is available because this is a tearjerker.it swells my heart and makes me so proud that a man can know what we feel as mothers.that is the underlying appeal to this for the words just frosts it nicely.
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Awwww, Daddy, this turned out very beautifully (I had no doubts). This is such a sweet tribute to all Mothers. I am sure all the Mommys in your church will be deeply touched by your words of affection and adoration. Nicely penned.
s
♥Christina♥ -
Paul, your words are once again a masterpiece. I wouldn't change a thing. A lovely poem for the most beautiful part of most people's lives. Even those of us with difficult memories still love our mothers deeply, and Mother's day is still a day that makes me cry just thinking of my mother.
I just called her Monday night. We had a wonderful chat, and she sounded so cheerful. It was a wonderful gift for us both.
I'm sure the mothers in your church will love this. Hugs, Patricia -
What a very touching poem, Paul: thanks for recommending it to me!
The first couple of things I noticed are straightforward: in "It’s tiny hands and tiny feet", there should be no apostrophe in 'its' for the possesive use. The second is that in line 4 of verse 2 there's a missing beat between "learn" and "will", breaking the iambs. Oh, and if it were me, I'd use question marks in the first verse. I think that punctuating in poetry works best when the appropriate marks are used, but of course that's a subjective thing. I think 'awestruck' is generally one word, too.
Both 'wondering' and 'falt'ring' are missing a syllable: either works, but consistency when it comes to contractions is probably best. I also thought that the two rhymes in verse 5 are a bit too alike, which gives that verse an odd emphasis: I don't know whether that was deliberate or not? My preference would be for different rhymes, keeping the verse structure simpler and preventing that from distracting the reader's attention.
The last thing I'd say (I know I've been surprisingly critical so far, but they're all just niggles in the grand scheme of the poem, honest!) is that the ending is a little weak. It's the qualifier "certainly" in the very last line. Have you ever notice that when someone says "I'm sure this is the right way" what they really mean is "I'm not really sure but I think it is"? It's that sort of feeling I get from that line. I'm trying to think of a couple of alternatives for you, I think the best was "You had your doubts, but now they're gone: it truly was worthwhile!".
Suddenly I feel this odd compulsion to phone my own mother...
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Grampa, This is an awesome poem!!! I'm sure the people at your church will love it!!! You did an awesome job!!!
Hugs,
Beth -
Oppps forgot the applause lol So here it is
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What a beautiful poem, I think it is perfect just the way it is
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Hey grampa
When I first read it I was speechless. This is amazing Im serious.
A mother holds a newborn babe in wonder and in fright
It’s tiny hands and tiny feet, she marvels at the sight
Awe struck by the life she holds, entrusted to her hands
All the things the babe must learn, will they understand
Thats so true, even after the lack of sleep even after Im at my wits end, even after I feel like breaking down, when shes crying, and she just wants mommy, and I pick her up and she calms down quicker than who knows what everything seems so much better, things are going to be okay after all. Great job grampa.
Malzy -
Fantastic
kirbysman, Please leave it just the way it is. I have been married to the same lady for seventeen years and this is how I have seen her life play out so far. If there is any misunderstanding by anyone then they have just gotten married or they are still single and dont have someone to point these things out to them. Please keep up the good work and write some more baeutiful poems. (J) -
Lovely poem! Excellent rhyme scheme!Great job!
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this is so beautiful
in my opinion you should leave it just the way it is.. well done!
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