If i could be any part of you,
i'd be
your tears;
The ones that fall
when you haven't taken your medications
and the parts of you that hide
come out to scare me
except they don't;
at least,
not much.
Or maybe I'd be the tears
you lie about- the ones
i assume are always there
beneath the cat's eyes.
though i may be mistaken
about those tears;
meaning, i suppose, that i
wouldn't exist- like i
sometimes feel
i don't:
not because of your treatment,
or because I don't love it-
more, then,
because i do.
Author notes
i wrote this while trying to take orders at mcdonald's, so perhaps it isn;t too great . o h wel.
Written April 25th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
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Good start
I think you're off to a good start. I'd be interested in looking at it again once you get back to it and spend some devoted time to it -
I hate reading a poem and not leave more than a line of comments... I think it's just a lack of respect for the one who spend so much time writing and advertising it to the world... What's could be less constructive than ---well done, I loved it--- I like the whole picture of tears, stuck in between treatment, disease and emotional aspect of it. I always thought that there was more hidden behind the tears and you actually defined them in such a perfect way. Very hard for anybody to consider the tears of someone without being able to understand the reason... maybe all of this is related to something we can't actually catch or trully understand... nevertheless your work deserve to be featured for sure and you have achieved a lot in this piece of poetry! Bravo
Frenchie -
Love this poem!!!
Straight from your heart hun.
Keep up the great work
-
this is truly beautiful
I adore it
xx
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