five years before the Christmas day you pranced across my front yard
i saw you backing off my instructor's trailer
brown and blue eyes rolling
you were pretty enough
with your snowy white face and hind sock
highlighted mane and ash speckled coat
my comforting hand extended
and you jerked away as if expecting a blow
and you did
who wouldn't after what you'd been through?
whenever approached
every muscle in your body was tense
and as hard as your previous owners heart
wanting to flee, but scared
too scared of a beating for taking a step away
after long days and longer years
sitting in your pasture, brushing, and riding
you accepted my touch
sometimes even sought it
each carrot you tentatively lipped
was a nibble on my heart
until you sank you teeth into that too
and galloped away with it
while on your back
each step you took was a step toward freedom
away from reality
when that wasn't enough
every hair in your mane
absorbed a teardrop
in trust we grew together
now, you have grown too many in years
your body can no longer keep up with your spirit
as age creeps into your bones
we are losing the freedom in every swift stride
as the strides get less swift
tears flow from my eyes
no longer from wind
but the reality of your age
that is finally catching up
and your mane
greyer now
doesn't absorb the tears as well
i pray that the day is as far as the end of hope
when you gallop riderless off into the sunset
Author notes
sorry people, i kinda wrote it to my pony, frosty. if you think i should change it into being about her and not to her, i will. this year, she turned 26 (i think. i have never been able to track her past owners). she is not near dying (as far as i know) but she is getting older. and it is making me sad.
Written April 24th, 2005
A contest entry
- Horse Crazy by Blck Rose Pdl.
400 points, ended April 26, 2005, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Jeez, Bethy, you sure know how to make somebody depressed
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horses...
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Nice poem story I enjoy reading this different write that I don't ususally read you must love snow I can tell from your name and poem getting off here
anyways good job with this piece and if you return the favor comment on my poem "1 person, 1 thing" since it has no comments much love Raneika 
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lol. i replied to (almost all) the people who made comments. glad you like it. and thanks for the luck, cause i won the contest. how i did that i do not know. lol. lylas and thanks for reading.
beth -
this is sooooooo awesome beth! i love it sooo much! good luck in the contest! you wont really need it w/ a poem like that! this whole thing is so incredibly sweet! i was, like, about to cry!! *tear* wonderful job! i LOVE the last stanza! heck i loved the whole thing! AWESOME! (you sure have commented a lot on your own poem...)
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Tyler...... was ist dein problem mit mir? I comment to encourage Beth in her writing, not to cut her down. Yes, my comments aren't perfect, but this is certainly not english class, heh.
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thanks for telling me that. i looked at your column and it really helped. thanks for being truthful when it is just easier to say "good job, keep writing." however,i would like to say that most of my work is usuallly better in showing than this. i hope you won't judge me on just one piece.thanks again,
beth -
thanks, you comment and everyone elses made my day. sorry it was so long. and i am really glad you liked it so much.
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yeah, i am not looking forward to the day. but it is not here yet! thanks for the comment!
beth -
i'm glad you enjoyed it. i will try to visit your page to read your poetry soon.
thanks, beth -
i am glad you liked it. i thought that no one would. thanks for the really nice comment. i will be on your page to read some of your work soon.
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i am not that great, and i am happy Em pointed out my mistake so i could fix it. wait, i have other errors in my poem? ack, tell me what they are! anyway, glad my poem made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside for fro. proves that you are made of more than hot air from winning all the bike races. lol,
beth -
thanks for telling me about the mistake. glad you like it. lylas,
beth -
wow... this was absolutely awesome... i agree with what tyler said for the most part... even the part about em's comment... that's kinda mean but oh well... i really loved this piece... man it made me want to cry. i loved the entire thing and i don't have favorite part because i love the entire thing... i'm glad that frosty trusts you and i'm sad that she's getting older... ok... well keep up the good work and that your time with frosty, however long that may be, will be great...
Shelley -
This tells a lovely story, but it doesn't show it to me. Maybe my column on showing vs telling will help yoe see the difference. allpoetry.com/poem/1209431
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Beautiful
This is a beautiful write, so descriptive, full of imagery. Great write. Thanks for sharing this with us. Best wishes in the contest.
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yay
This is a beautiful poem, for so many reasons. the first: It was interesting, beautiful, and descriptive all the way to the end, even though it is a fairly long poem. the second: The description and vocabulary was amazing. so many more reasons, i could go on forever. a wonderful poem indeed, great job. -
very sad. losing a animal can be just as heart breaking as losing a family member or friend. good job with writing this. good luck in the contest.
Blu -
absolutely wonderful poem
these lines hit me hard
"whenever approached
every muscle in your body was tense
and as hard as your previous owners heart
wanting to flee, but scared
too scared of a beating for taking a step away"
i believe i shall fave you -
beth... you amaze me in so many ways you may never know. of course this piece made me want to cry because i'm so sad about frosty getting old, and i can only pray that she has many wonderful years left in her and that when the time comes, she will pass on as peacefully as imaginable with only memories of the happiest life a horse could ever live, thanks to you beth. but, this piece also made me want to cry (tears of happiness) because of how much you love frosty. i'm so happy for you that you have her and care for her so much. i really admire you for that. you have got to be one of the greatest of the people i know. i just can't really put into words how filled with... love, i am after reading this. not like a romantic love, but a really warm fuzzy kinda love for you and frosty, what you've done for her and what you mean to each other. you're a brilliant writer, too. and emily, how can you point out an error in beth's poem when you have more errors in your own comment than she has in her entire poem? just a thought. keep up the awesome work beth, and more importantly, keep on loving frosty. best of wishes-
~tyler
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Oh Beth..... this poem made me sad. :-( My throat tightend a little bit because I know how much you love her and I never realized that she was older.... You're lucky to have someone who you love like that, and you illustrated the bond between you two brilliantly! Oh man, I especially liked:
" each carrot you tentatively lipped
was a nibble on my heart
until you sank you teeth into that too
and galloped away with it"
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. You will always surpass me in writing. I mean that. However I do see one mistake, "loosing" has an extra "o", lol. Anyway, KEEP POSTING!
--Em
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i think it is kinda sweet how you wrote it to her, i mean, that is the way you thought it, that is the way it is written, very beautiful, and a touch sad, it's good that you have something you love so much in your life
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