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Unconventional love

Robert Frost told me he took the road less traveled.
I looked at him and scoffed with
Ignorance written across my face.
Why bother?
Smooth sailing.
“I,” I said, “I’ll take the easy road and
Meet you on the other side.”

Half way there I came to a road block.
Four years a growing passion.
Hand in hand, we walked together
Attempting to mask the love that grew within.
We needed each other – symbiosis
In it’s most simplistic form.
Conservative rhetoric said no to controversy and I
Shyly nodded in agreement.

Summer Smoothies.
Coffee Capers.
Driving and driving with no real destination
As the colors of adolescence slowly faded, and rose
And faded again.  Reflecting off of our faces
In the cool summer breeze.
This was meant to be.
But it will never be and so we brushed it off
and went our separate ways.

Two roads converged in the woods.
I found you there again.
Free of parental restraint,
I washed my hands of conventionality with
Rose scented soap.
Controversy has become my friend, my
Partner in the crime that is aberrant love.
Hardship and Rejection.  Fear and dissention.
A welcome mat for ambiguity.
And I thank the road less traveled.

Author notes


Written April 22nd, 2005

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • u took my user name
    November 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    “I,” I said, “I’ll take the easy road and"
    that sentence stopped the flow of the poem as i read it. It makes the reader stop and think to figure out HOW to read it. Yes, it is true when that as a writer, we want the reader to think about what we write, but not in the sense that i did, thinking on HOW to read, not WHAT it holds, the meaning, my own interpretation, a connection... anything. In my opinion, that prevents the poem for flowing too well, even though i see you have a free write here, which is a lil choppy for my taste with unnecessary pauses created due to the word choice

    also, i'm a sucker for vivid imagery with a sense of personality. If not that, than really raw poetry in simplicity (of words and) length.
    But this is just a personal preference, so don't take it as harsh criticizm since i am sure there are many people that think this style is the best. again, it's just my opinion (and for the purpose of the contest... that's the one that matters lol)

    I absolutely love this line "As the colors of adolescence slowly faded, and rose
    And faded again."

    "This was meant to be.
    But it will never be and so we brushed it off
    and went our separate ways."
    too many of the cliche "meant to be" and the double "be" there in consecutive lines isn't working too well for me


    the last stanza i really like. I do.
    And great Frost (i'm forgetting the word to use right now... )...usage (for a serious lack of a better word) You did well starting and finishing with it. It's good that you didn't just throw that Frost line in early in the poem and not show me why you used it. well done. I like that.

    Overall, i liked. Nice job. a pleasure to read

    Best wishes,
    Albasoul


  • Ezilana
    November 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Great poem! I love your words, it is well thought out and very clever. It is the kind of poem I will read a few times to fully take in.. Well done!


  • Robin Candor
    September 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    The ability to obtain authors and bring them into your writing as alive and part of your life is a device that too many writers miss. There is a powerful humility in this acceptance of those gone before us. I respect your ability to do this and yet keep the write completely your own. I can relate and so enjoy the way you employed your ideas in this wonderful coming of age piece. RC


  • Touchof1der silver member
    August 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I have to echo the other great comments you have here. I love this and you have done a remarkable job. WoW! Good luck in the contest.
    ♥ Kimberly


  • LadyUnique silver member
    July 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i thoroughly enjoyed and admire everything about this poem
    i double-agree on everyone else's comments... this is a write to be proud of!
    i applaud the poet and the poem


  • punkrocksmidge
    April 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. The Road Not Travelled is one of my favourite poems, and I think it takes guts to try and reply to one of Robert Frost's pieces. The ending was a very strong aspect to the piece, and it really makes a big impact on the poem. Nice work, and keep writing, dear
    ~Smidge~


  • icedtear
    April 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is great and i like that robert frost poem. we actaully just got done studying it in class.(for english) and i think you did a wonderful job with this poem keep it up! Love the first and last stanzas!
    Kayla


  • rannilt
    April 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I LOVE this, not less because Robert Frost's poem is one of my favourites. I love the message here, but I also like how you've worded it. And I'm impressed by the first stanza:

    Robert Frost told me he took the road less traveled.
    I looked at him and scoffed with
    Ignorance written across my face.
    Why bother?
    Smooth sailing.
    “I,” I said, “I’ll take the easy road and
    Meet you on the other side.”

    Not many people can borrow something so famous and still make it completely their own. NICE work!

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