Don't stare at the ground
With those frowning eyes
I'll be here to hold you up
Don't worry about anything
Just call on me when I'm needed
I'll be there before you know it
Don't look so down and gloomy
Give me a smile that's welcoming
I'll return the favor as well
Don't fret your pretty little head
About things in this world
I'll help you through thick and thin
~April 22nd 2005~
Author notes
Here you go girl! Hope it's good enough for you!
Love your friend
~laura
Written April 22nd, 2005
A contest entry
- hope, happiness and love by crying-blood.
300 points, ended April 29, 2005, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Your premise is very good, and you've developed it well enough. The problem with this is that it doesn't sound like poetry. You might consider try to use some of the traditional poetic devices such as alliteration, metaphor, similes and so on, anthing to make this sound less like a conversation you'd hear on a streetcorner or in a hallway at school.
However, as I said, the premise is good, and you've come up with a good one. -
::starts singing the classic....we all need...some-bo-dy...to lean on::
I've just a singing fool today...
Hugs...Eddy -
thanks girl going to add you as a friend
XOXO
~laura -
thanks dougy!
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This is very good laura! I love the flow and the meaning behind it. Don't let anyone tell you that you suck because you don't. They are just jealous of the fact that you have better talent than them. Keep up the good work. Have you named your character for Dragon's story. Just wondering
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nice hip hoppy little ditty!
djc
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You're very welcome sodacolapop. I'm glad some people enjoy my work.
XOXO
~laura -
awww...
i want someone to love me, and be IN LOVE with me, and tell me those things in your poem (plus so much more) this brought a warmth within me, really nostalgic... and it made me smile 
i'm a sucker for romance, thank you so much for this
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Thanks dear Christopher
XOXO
~laura -
Thanks Rocker!
XOXO
~laura -
well i think that anyone who told you that you suck at poetry are in desperate need of a higher IQ, I find your poetry to be brilliant and you should never worry about what others say about what you write, if you like it (and if i like it) you should always write,,ha ha,,ok have a wonderful day and cya later!!
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this was good. it was very sweet. you know, you should go ahead and publish your stuff. you are good enough to do so. good luck!
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Thanks so much girl! Gosh i didn't think anyone would reply!
XOXO
~laura -
things are not as they appear
Very, Very good peom. I really like it. It sounds as the charactor is a protector. I like the story line. very good. -
nice write
Thank you mike. I'm glad i have a fan like you!
XOXO
~laura -
We all need someone to stand beside us..whether it is a friend, a family member or someone we love. It is hard to stand alone against the trial we face in life.
A very nice piece...Mike
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To give of one's self is to give that most precious, a heart of compassion and love....you conveyed that very well here, and I'm sure it is considered a cherished blessing...
Best of luck on this deserving piece in the contest.... -
Glad you enjoyed. Hope you read more...
XOXO
~laura -
Glad you enjoyed Biker.
XOXO
~laura -
You're very welcome Mina. Hope it's good enough for the contest though. LOL
XOXO
~laura -
awww such a cool poem!! So sweet. Everyone needs someone like that :-D
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Very inspiring
This is pretty good! A message of hope, a friend who is always there when things go wrong and someone who always brightens your day! Wonderful!
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awwww thankee so much sweetie, it made me cry! lol. its so sweet, and its good to know people care about me. it gives hope and that i what i need now. thankyou for entering
xxx
-mina-
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