The Gladiator righteously professes my disdain
Episcopal aloof is sacriligeous and profane
With serpentine precision searing hollow in my brain
Sorrow is sublime, but uneventful
Valentino and his mistresses flamboyantly carouse
With Freudian abandon bring Narcissus to their house
While Cleopatra makes a move on Oedipus' spouse
Plato is suspicious and resentful
Geronimo commands his tribe to dance and pray for rain
Noah shrugs his shoulders and prepares the Ark again
Maupassant protests that he is really not insane
P.T. Barnum just makes sure he has his tent full.
Author notes
The first stanza portrays the schism change and scepticism which draws people inexorably further from religion. ( In Ireland, episcopal aloof allowed unspeakable atrocities to be committed by clergy on our children ).
The second stanza shows that the consequent void, in the absence of demagogue, is inevitably filled by debauchery, rather than an alternate spirituality or philosophy.
The third stanza is a portent of Armageddon, a final deluge to wash away the madness.
The use of characters, real and fictional taken randomly from Biblical, Mythological and historical sources across the millenia serve to colour the poem, and to indicate a broad demograph and timespan.
The final line is to highlight the inherent cynicism, the end of the world as 'The Greatest Show on Earth'.
PJ
In a list
A contest entry
- Dreams by Candyknife.
850 points, ended July 13, 2008, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BATTLE OF THE GOLDS THREE by Swan song.
2000 points, ended October 5, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Another beautiful and well exicuted entry
thank you and good luck
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I got a good belly laugh at this and admire your talent thank you for entering Reember I wanted poems not entered into other contests
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I love this.Its so meaningful and yet its catchy when i read it .
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Mmmmmm i dont get this??? but from the grammer and sentances used i think it could be a favourite.
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Yep yep yep, definitely fits into a weird contest.
I liked the rhyme. And I found that the last line of every stanza rhymed with the last line of the other stanzas, if that makes any sense at all. I think that was intentional. Either way it was well written and made me want to read on. I wish I had read the author's notes before reading the poem, as I was really quite lost, but I still enjoyed reading it.
'With serpentine precision searing hollow in my brain
Sorrow is sublime, but uneventful'
'Noah shrugs his shoulders and prepares the Ark again
Maupassant protests that he is really not insane
P.T. Barnum just makes sure he has his tent full.'
Good ending too!
Thanks for entering.
skitza
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Yes, this is based on a recollection of a dream sequence, particularly the first stanza, and the Armageddon themes of the other stanzas.
I actually wrote some of this several years ago, but the nightmare of the dream persisted, and I tried to rationalize the sometimes vague, sometimes vivid dream characters into recognizable figures from myth and history.
Apologies if this is not what you were looking for.
PJ -
Is this truly a nightmare? Even a dream?
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Congrats on the gold dear, this is a very complex poem and it really takes you into a new world, new times and dates, i love how you pulled this poem off, with the hinting to society and hidden meanings with the colouring of the gods and such, best of luck in the contest,
all my love,
kitty xxxx -
This is definitely a good poem ...
congrats on the Gold.
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Omg....
THIS IS AWESOME! I haven't read a poem this good in a long time thanks alot
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holy shit !
excuse the language lol
but seriously ...wow
the title is brilliant
theres just so much i like about it
i really dont know where to start
the way you portay society, and broken faith, and everything that makes us human
i am absolutely blown away !
but is this a personal dream ?
i dont really care im just so glad i had the chance to read such an outstanding piece of work
great job !
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Candy
Actually, it was based on a half-recollected dream sequence, during a troubled night's sleep some years ago.
The 'Author's notes' were just my attempt at interpreting what might have generated these random thoughts.
Of course, it could have just been cheese...!
PJ
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Ja, this is a good one. Proper nouns work so well in poetry...
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Excellent work. I was lost from beginning to end, which is perfect for the contest. Further, the authors note explained the poem very well. Even more confusing was how the poem switched from a first person perspective to a third person. The nonsensicality of it all!
I thought it was a good touch to get all these different people involved in the poem, over the time span that they lived, and how all of them are fairly distant from eachother in what they did.
Thanks for entering. -
wow, this is really unique. awesome work.
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I adore the images and rhyming in this poem. Especially the lines,
"Valentino and his mistresses flamboyantly carouse
With Freudian abandon bring Narcissus to their house
While Cleopatra makes a move on Oedipus' spouse"
It conjured up images of a sleazy faux-glamour party dwindling into the early hours of the morning. This was a great read, I loved how you combined a wide array of people from history. I will have to read more of your work.
Also, thank you for the kind review on my poem
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Well the meter, rhyming and imagery work very well in this poem. I can't really fault them at all.
But the meaning of this just defeats me I'm afraid. I mean as far as a narrative goes it's not too hard, I mean all the people involved are all fairly well known, but what's it says or means completely defeats me I'm afraid.
Not that this necessarily reflects on your poem, but to me it just seems totally inscrutable, almost to the extent where I might be inclined to think that there's no meaning to it.
But this is probably just my own lack of understanding and insight. Just offering my reaction to it.
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h! very nice! I really like the way you have smoothly mixed together historical characters from different times and make it work. it almost makes perfect sense.
I wish you well in the contest.
~travis
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sounds like a party in hell, with a gathering of the most wicked guests carousing in the licks of passions flames, Noah really shouldn't be there, but he lost the unicorns and the devil is partial to horns, so now he rides a horny Noah. Of course Noah's building another arc, and this one will shock the unshockable of hell and send him on a lightning bolt to heaven.
Good write, definetly Sir Real in the flesh.~Artis
Edited on Apr 21, 7:46 p.m. because ''.
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