Beads of blue stream down my face
Into the puddle around my feet
The devil's wrong hand clasps my throat
Its hellish clinch won't let me go
My heart grows colder every day
As the light fades into the darkness
The love that my heart once showed
Is now lost just like the light
No one is able to save me now
My soul is surely damned for eternity
There's no hope left for me
So leave me and let me die alone
~April 16th 2005~
Author notes
Old write but just felt a dark sensation come over me....not a personal write
Written April 21st, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Thanks you for your comment; now i think i understand....thanks for pointing that stuff out for me
XOXO
~laura -
I like this poem! And no one's saying you suck. You're taking all the comments to be overly critical, whereas they're just giving you their true feelings. And true feeling is what poetry is about. Getting into that habit is easy, getting out is hard. I think all you need to work on is more confidence about your work and learning to take constructive critiscisim. Love the poem!
~Foresaken Tears1~ -
Well thank you very much darkwriter.
XOXO
~laura -
I will read your wonderful poetry when i get a chance okay?
XOXO
~laura -
Thanks for reading
XOXO
~laura -
How can you be confused 'bout your work? It's excellent!!! If you think that it's crap, it's crap. But don't let anyone truly judge the core of your work - if you think it belongs in a national competition, well, maybe it does!
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This is really good..I wish I had talent..Its really dark..and just kinda like its a big Mystery!..Good Job...You should read some of my stuff to see if what can be done to salvage my crappy poems!...
--Lulu-- -
Good
I liked this. You messaged me wanting me to read your poetry. This is good. Keep up the good work. Oh yeah...what website did you go to to find the vampire names. Sounds kool. -
So glad you enjoyed my work Mike. Thanks for being a fan!
XOXO
~laura -
Indeed, you are not alone. I love the way you worked your name into this one. It is a sad and dark piece but it is very well done.
Nice work...Mike
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A very sad and hopeless view in this dark piece...well written, and leave an ominous feeling in the pit of the stomach.
Very nice work... -
Dear mum so glad you enjoyed
XOXO
~laura -
this is a good one....I am just glad to read it is not a reality...my dear....
LIZ -
Thanks Casey
XOXO
~laura -
nice write
Oh my god! That poem is really good cuz it catches tha feeling of being hurt. I just really, really like tha poem. Keep up tha good work.
XOXO
~APimp4DaLadies -
nice write
I know i'm not alone cuz i have GREAT support (friends) like you
XOXO
~laura -
i dont even know what to say about this.it is very good, as are all of yours!this is very dark.i love it!you are not alone.
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