One Memory
My grandfather had a model sailing ship
in a case in the arcade outside his shop.
The ship was made of matches, the glass case
had a slot for dropping coins in at the top.
I spent a good while gazing at it,
making up stories, first of the ship and then
of whoever glued the matches, tied the rigging,
painted ship and plaster sea, especially when
I was allowed to help unlock it sometimes:
bag up its takings for the week's good cause
- crippled children, the blind, the ambulance -
small change of sailors, drunks and whores
as well as sober customers and shopkeepers
in that port city. And so that ship for me
like all ships, had a romance of its own,
shielded by glass, sailing its painted sea.
The arcade has changed a good deal now.
Grandfather's shop has long since passed away.
Certainly, there's no glass box of ship and coins.
How long, I wonder, would they last today?
But the ship's there in my memory,
and what it sailed towards: innocence like joy,
pathetically fragile, freighted, with its coins,
with a cargo of treasure nothing can destroy.
_______________________
Author notes
Written April 21st, 2005
A contest entry
- For the Sake of Freedom {contest #16} by PerfectImperfection.
525 points, ended December 15, 2006, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Allpoetry Book Project: Teen Inspiration. Win $100 / $30 by Kevin.
600 points, ended April 2, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Won't somebody please think of the CHILDREN!?!?! by Fionasmommy.
450 points, ended March 8, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Calling All Rhyming Story Tellers! by Sgt B.
525 points, ended May 28, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Good Pre Writes With No Trophies by lindaburns.
2100 points, ended November 11, 2008, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want daddie poems (28/8 Quicky) by Meroza.
400 points, ended January 27, 23 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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I adore this poem, such details and emotions. Well done!
Thank you for entering -
JUDGE:
The strange thing about this poem is that though I can see it rhymes, when I read it, the rhymes don’t seem important. I reads smoothly. It’s a good story. It’s logical – I love logic in a poem. I’m moving it to the finalist list. Good job.
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A nice memory indeed
The story was nice the flow was ok the rhyme was gentle but forced at times. Thank you for your entry it helpped me enjoy my lunch. -
Great insite on kids. Well done. Well said. Good luck in the contest.
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"in a case in the arcade " -> too many 'in's. 'a good while' -> too colloquial. 'i was allowed to' -> inactive verbs, keep it active! "On special days, we would unlock it" or something.
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A nostalgic trip down memory lane for you. That matchbox ship and your Grandad painted a loving picture in your kaleidoscope of childhood memories
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This is wonderful! What a beautiful memory to hold indeed. This is so very well written, with such great attention to detail. Touching, with one of the greatest sentiments I have heard on the subject of memory. Ending with a fond embrace and then a release, back to the past. Thank you so much for entering and best wishes!
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Thank you for your kind comments. I have read several of your poems and think highly of them, so your remarks are especially welcome for this reason.
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This is such a beautiful story you tell. Those times have gone when we could see things like that outside the shops. my hubby had a fascination for ships, and while in Bulgaria bought a beautiful model of a tall ship which he put on the window sill of the living room, its sails lit up and all the kids used to stand outside gazing at it. I think you penned this beautifully. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Shaz. -
very good write!
This brought back a few memories for myself too!...when I was at primary school...about the age of 7...there was an elderly man came into the school and showed us the things he had built from matches...replicas of churches, big ben, a warship, and my favourite...a horse..all beautifully constructed by hand with the greatest attention to detail...halcyon days...now sadly gone into the distant past leaving only memories that in time will fade!...very good write!...regards Dan -
with a cargo of treasure, nothing can destroy! I love this one Kevin! Thanks for sharing this and good luck in the contest,
Frog -
This was a wonderful write and I thank you for sharing it with us all, and for giving me great inspiration in remembering no one can steal our minds thoughts and memories we store,
also love how you made the comparison of the ship..
Blessings
Tears -
Wonderful! I loved the comparison of the ship and it's cargo. I loved the ryhme too, very nicely done. I love poems with images from the child's eyes. I don't really think that made sense. Sorry it's taken me like a month to comment, i've just been bombarded with a thousand and two assignments. Great write!
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Excellent
It never fails to amaze me how children can create whole worlds from the simplest of objects.
This is a really lovely piece and your love of all things maritime is reflected in it.
Barb -
Great job on this poem. I always loved looking at objects and imagining all the stories behind them. Thanks for entering!
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I of course agree with everyone. This brought back loads of memories. In my youth there was nothing more fasinating to me then models, ships, airoplanes, trucks and cars. They hipnotized me. Just curious, is the ship still in the family somewhere. Gosh that would be great if it was. Great trip through time Kevin. Thanks.
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crystaldust 30-06-05 08:07
This is fascinating, Kevin. The love running through the tribute to your grandfather is matched by the rhyme and the form. I like the broken lines because they reflect the different thoughts about the parts of the ships and what they were made of. I know nothing about ships, except the discomfort of seasickness, so I avoid them when I can. However, I have an idea about your contest which I might just have the confidence to put into a poem. Thanks for drawing my attention to it. -
Thanks for pointing this out to me Kevin. You have obviously written about something that has a special meaning for you. I too remember staring at models (aeroplanes) when I was younger and imagining. I then went onto become a pilot for a while. Now I am more interested in the big, sailing ships and get on board whenever I can.
Have you realised any of your dreams?
About the writing. I see the rhymes as they appear at the line ends of your writing. But, to me, this has the feeling of what I call chopped-up prose. If you removed some of the artificial line endings it would make a very nice little article. Obviously that is only my opinion, take it or leave it.
Jim S -
Beautifully written.
Nice imagery.
~shaitus -
Thank you. It is "by the Ocean" in that, apart from involving a ship, it is set in the port-City of Fremantle in Western Australia. My Grandfather was the mayor and had a chemist's shop (in America "drug-store?") in an arcade there. He was also active in many other charitable causes (Knights of St John Ambulance, crippled children's home, prison reform etc. etc. It didn't mean much to me as a child, but I have come to respect the values he embodied more with every passing year.
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Wonderful memory and very productive and constructive model toy.cake
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