Wistful and weary is Spring again
Lost, her children have fallen to the wind.
See them drift softly to the earth,
to be forgotten and trampled underfoot
while all of Summer's beauty fades.
They are left to rot and crumble
as they whisper mournfully,
basking in Mother's shade.
Decorating the sterile cityscape,
corpses mingle with the tears of Autumn
and leave colorful photographs.
Speckling the cold concrete
their shadows are frozen memories.
A gallery of ghostly remnants
that speaks of silent suffering,
and etches their annual epitaphs.
Author notes
I've had this idea written down since Fall last year, just never got around to doing anything with it.
I was walking home and saw all the spots on the sidewalk where dead leaves had been imprinted by rainfall. It made me think a lot, and I was inspired, but just didn't have the words in me at the time, so I wrote down the idea in hopes that I would find the words later.
Written April 19th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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very nice flow
i really, really like it. the flow is just lovely. very nicely penned. smooth and easy to follow. which is a very good thing in my book. all in all, nice job. was worth the read. enjoyed.
Blu -
Quite Good
There is a definite beauty in the cycle of life, and this poem captures it beautifully. A sad work as well, it laments the passing of one world in favor of another, but makes no judgements. -
beautifully written...honestly, i feel the beauty in this, and its amazing....great job!
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I normally hate to copy and paste seems like a cheap way to get points and say how much you like something. But i had to highlight these few lines.
A gallery of ghostly remnants
that speaks of silent suffering,
and etches their annual epitaphs.
That is the most beautiful way i have ever heard anybody speak of Autumn.I love your writing.You have a been a great addition to my favorites list because you do write so many beautiful things....thank you. -
excellent work!!
wow ark,i loved this poem,it was fantastic,just like you,it's me janis,i changed my name again
keep up the great work buddy nbf/poetic janis
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Quite the metaphor in this. I think you pulled a lot of imagery in this and that was very good.
For some reason, it almost seemed as though there were two separate poems here. They had some slight concepts that were obviously in common - but the focus shifts just enough from one to another to have the stanza easily stand on their own. I think it's the contrast more from being in the mother nature moment to heading into ghosts and epitaphs.
Overall, this is nicely written and certainly showcases your ability to capture imagery. Nicely done. -
I didn't enjoy the photograph image or the mother's shade image.
But those were just minor things, overall it creates a great atmosphere. I think that it works really well. A pleasure to read. Great poem. -
Definately caught a feeling there. It is difficult to write something fresh on such a subject - you have managed though!
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Very deep and clever writing style. I really felt moved by this poem and love where the initial inspiration came from you did a really good job with this!
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this is great, you shouldn't change it. Maybe you could write somthing else about the topic but dont change this one.
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Beautiful write I love autumn and this was so discriptive .
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Well, you have some lovely images, but since you have not asked for critical comments, I shall comment no further
Edited on Apr 27 because ''. -
nice emotion & imagery here...
yes this does have me thinking abit once again my friend
nice touch!
keeps those memories finding places that some don't generally think about -
nice emotion & imagery here...
yes this does have me thinking abit once again my friend
nice touch! -
the piece is very lovely. Your descriptions, the imagery....striking and strong. You use fresh metaphors and there is a wonderful flow. Wonderful work.
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yeah, i agree with rebelrikki, that line really grabbed my attention and the rest of it kept it. Great ending...fun to read...over all great job!
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My favorite would have to be the first line. I like the snippet of alliteration, and it seemed like such a sobering line. The whole poem felt slow and easy. Nice work.
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cool images.
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Wow, one of those moments that just screams poetry, and you di justice to nature's sad beauty. This piece is truly beautiful. It is deep and the imagery is wonderful. This is sorrowful and ok, I'm out of good adjectives, but this is truly spectacular.
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excellent
i really liked the idea of leaves as corpses, tears mourning the year. great imagery, i could really connect with this poem. great! -
The whole idea of an epitaph really intrigues me and you have taken it to an interesting and thought provoking place with this piece. Well done.
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Yeah, the personification in this peace was ace. This was an ace write, nice one.
Read some of my stuff sometime please.
Love~
Grave
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As I read I was thinking of the tattered leaves...the visual here was brilliant and to relay it to the reader in the manner you did brought life to the decaying leaves..good stuff
Peace Muddy -
AWESOME
This is really good! Full of imagery and feeling and I love that you took the idea from nature and stuff! It was excellent! I'll be checkin back for more, so keep writing! -
Very Good
Man this poem was good! I like how you described leaves as people with emotions. For example, "Corpses mingle with the tears of Autumn, and how the speak of silent suffering."
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i liked this a lot...It was great personification. I especailly loved this line: "corpses mingle with the tears of Autumn" It was just a great line. I will be sure to come back and read more of your work!
Adding your comment:
1 - 26 of 26
10 old applause
