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Balance

Admiration
 as the moon rises, the sun bows,
  seeping into the tranquil waters of night
The clouds sail by, calming their transition
  soothing my eyes as I watch
   nature's balance
 The wind, an invisible peace, flows over my body
   leaving me a fluid of harmony
    as I shed my physical essence
     and float...
           
              into spiritual happiness.

Author notes


Written April 19th, 2005

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • GhostOfARose-
    August 15, 2005
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    This is a really cool poem. I wish I had balance in my life but I can at least relate to floating into spiritual happiness. I do that alot. You described this so vividly.
    XxX


  • Alahmorah
    May 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your comment. I agree with you, the ending needs something...I've been at a lost for words lately, it will be improved someday... Great contest, I enjoyed reading the entries.
    Love and Blessings, Ashlee

  • bowie
    May 3, 2005
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    this poem is short, which I like. I would make this poems letter color a little lighter, something that shows up and doesn't hurt the eyes as much. The imagry is good, I like that. The ending could use somehting though, it ends, but it needs something. I can't think what it is, but theres like a whole, asking for something...... I'll try to think of what to describe it as and come back if I do. The rest of the poem is good though, and I like it. Keep up the good work.

    Bowie of the knife and spear.
    Rose of the thorns,
    Morner of the lost.


  • Samplette gold member
    April 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    A very beautiful piece. I can see in your words the picture shining. Thank you for entering the contest.
    S♠m
    Edited on Apr 20, 10:34 because ''.


  • BluRosePoet8488
    April 19, 2005
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    Beautifully written.

    AWWWW! This is wonderful. Very beautifully written. It has such a light airy feel to it! Nice... you can just wrap yourself up in your words forever. Best of luck. I'm sure Sam will love this. Love and hugs...
    ~Donna~


  • April 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Very beautiful

    Ashlee, I can see why this picture inspired you, and the clouds, amazing.. I can feel the peacefulness you have you have so beautifully penned with your words. "The wind, an invisible peace, flows over my body, leaving me in a fluid of harmony" this is gorgeous... and your spirit floating... very lovely sweetie, I'm sure the judge will love it! All the best in the contest, Much love and many blessings, Annie

1 - 6 of 6