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(crestfallen skies)

upon scorching pain
lies the pleasurable cool
of her summer breeze
*.*.*

for fear that I can't,
be with me tonight until
the sun melts the moon
*.*.*

lest I still be far
when the cold has slipped away
I pray the sun shine
*.*.*

I no longer care
if I run out of kigo
as long as it rains

-13Nov2004-

Author notes

the stars (well ,the *'s)are for my mistress, masterblaster. she insinuated and raised quite a few points i just find irresistable.
*.*.*

Old school haiku chain... which is my pathetic way of curbing my enthusiasm when I have the urge to drabble. I guess these are drabble in capsule form, I think...

Old school, I think, is rather inappropriate. I'm pertaining to Old Japan as the emperors were written haiku to; form of entertainment for royalty, and I've profaned such a revered form. They'd have a group of poets lined up at court, one would start a chain. However, this chain did not require to be linked to the subject of the author preceding one. It was probably like still photographs in word form.
Written April 19th, 2005

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Comments


  • masterblaster gold member
    April 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Not an easy poem to understand as is very personal, ok will tell you my interpritation then you can shoot me down in flames,I have the impression that the person is very ill, are kigo some form of medication, fear that I cannot be with me tonight,gives me the impression due to the illness or the medication the person will not be totally coherent,third verse floored me,I get a feeling of great sadness in this poem.are you going to tell me?, big hugs Di


  • jonnyfaint
    April 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i didn't get the kigo thing, and i think the intro is too strong, like scorching is too harsh for me, the rest tho was fine, i really don't have much to say, this kinda lacked the flavor or taste i get from your other writes, i missed the sensuality of your other writes, anyways, shine one