Follow hand in hand
down the pathway created
by the brisk winds disgust
for the pulsating sun
that attempts to break through
to the melancholy grass
that is sparsely embedded between
crumbling grounds
of rock and fresh earth.
Author notes
umm, not too fond of this peice, but it was written for my poetry class. i like the pictures of what i was imagining while i was writing because it was such a serene day outside, so peaceful, so soothing...
Written April 17th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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thanks for the comment. Yeah on this peice i wasn;t really going for anything too meaningful. i was just trying to put into words a day i spent outside juast looking around and taking in what nature we as humans have allowed to prospure. its funny to see all the trees that were replanted in the same areas because of construction. it makes no sense to me. they plow them down just to replant them in straight lines. how wonderfully natural
. but anyways. thanks for the comment. i enjoy hearing from you
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Actually this has just enough metaphorical adjectives to give this write a deep psychological, introspective flavor, kind of like one of those haiku's that you 'more or less' understand but remain convinced afterwords that there is something you are just not getting. If that was the intent, this was very well done, if not, you did better than you think. I enjoyed the read. Thanks for posting.
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Lauren,
I really loved it - because it doesnt really romantisize nature into something its not - it maybe puts a different spin on the way we see it. . . a spin that is outside of the picture we see when we think of a lovely spring day. i dunno about why you arent fond of it haha because its really simple and nice. anyway, i dont agree with the period at the end - haha thats all that id change tho (id just remove it)
kate -
Good, Up this doesnt leave much room for a comment but awesome imagery.
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word a perfect picture paint a picture perfect...
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