where has it all gone?
all the promises that gave faith
and life to stone floors, always cold
and sometimes alight with images
construed out of thin air and high hopes
are gone, while the troubled sleep i have
strived to hide within burns through the night,
igniting the tearful sun that gently
touches the frozen fields of fidelity,
melting the waxen chains that pulls me closer
to the iridescent rays of joyful days.
where has it all gone now?
the fretful slumber broken down
awakens me into this barren ground,
where nature's rest can never dwell
i am concious still,
of all that could have been and all that is.
its judgement day as the last of all loves bid farewell.
the spotlight beams without mercy asking questions
who is to blame for this solitude?
the iron mask is stripped away under the glare
of a conscience unrelenting in its queries
and for the first time in years
i look into the face of life
seeing it for what it is , knowing myself
to be desert sands, bound by cruelty's crown of thorns
holding hands with Sadness, my dearest friend.
Author notes
Written April 16th, 2005
What did you think
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Why is the last line so much smaller?
As far as I am concerned, fidelity is not all that it is cracked up to be. Seems like you have created this whole scenario of what could happen, and how you could end up alone, and I say that alone is better than an unhappy relationship. -
i loved it!!!
i thought this poem was really really good i love it alot. i can relate to it very much. i personally disagree with ricohet rabbit though. i think wordy poems are alot better than simple short ones. it givea the reader something to think about and a curiosity and wanting to read it again to figure out exactly what the poem is conveying. but anyways i though this poem was absoulotely wonderful. i'm going to put it on my book mark list. now i'm gonna go check out someof your others. keep up the great writings !!! -
ooooh. the first few lines were enough to suck me into the feelings that motivated this piece. I enjoyed it, to say the least, although that itttttttyyy bitty type hurt my brain. At 30 I'm old and wear glasses, so you must be kind to me. lol. "gave faith to stone floors"... now that's a line I'll carry around with me today.
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this turned out alot better then it had began.It did work here very well with the flow and the images given were very good.Good job. Soppy in some places but worth the read.
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This has some potential, but I feel that you should leave the wordiness behind, and strive for simplicity. Sometimes less is more. I think that this is an excellent first draft, but that some rewrites are in order. And example of what I mean is this: instead of saying "holding hand with sadness, my dearest friend", how about "hands held in sadness, friend"?
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