I saw you smile the other day
which took my breath from me
Memories of yesterday
and how things used to be
Laughter in the moonlight
giggles in the wind
Time we took for granted
can never be again
Kisses in the morning
at the break of day
as raindrops softly glistened
apex of the suns way
Shadows in the darkness
dancing in the sky
holding hands together
looking eye to eye
Tender gentle touches
etched deep within my mind
will stay with me forever
until the end of time
Yes, I saw you smile the other day
and I had to catch my breath
for I still love you baby
even after death
A contest entry
- Im memory of...R.I.P by Christina-is-crazy.
300 points, ended October 18, 2008, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - In Loving Memory... by Timeless Wisdom.
22250 points, ended March 23, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - dealing with loss of a loved one by crazymomma.
1750 points, ended November 24, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 43 of 43
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Nice dedication full of the emotion of losing a loved one. Thanks for your entry
~Raymond~ -
Wow, this is a great poem...
thanks so much for entering my contest!!! -
pretty nice. thank you for entering my contest.
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love is eternal
I still love you baby
even after death." yes. Love is eternal dear pearl drop!
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Thank you for reading me. Great idea for a contest.
TD -
Thanks for the entry in this contest. I will leave full comments at the close of this contest. Best of luck in contest.
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This was happy, and sad, all at the same time. I liked the dynamics of this piece, the simple imagery and the thought of reminiscence as you looked back over your past to be able to tell of how that love still exists. Excellent ending!
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Thank you for your reply.
TD -
this is a nice poem, the rhyme scheme is awsome, and it made me smile. nice write, thanks for entering, & good luck!!
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Thank you so very much for your heartfelt reply and the win. I wrote this (as I am sure you can tell) for my husband whom passed away. I really miss him.
TD -
Wow nice write and thank you for entering this in my contest you are surely in my top 5. well good luck and thanx for entering
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Thank you Rene' for the invite to yahoo and to chat..I am a little rusty on how to do things on internet..but my son is a pro..so tomorrow I will put him to work ..lol..and will im you with my screen name once he gets me to yahoo messenger..I agree with you some just avoid us for fear of what to say..yet all we need is an open ear..so true..I will read more of your poetry and be looking forward to our chats..I feel there was a purpose for my contest and you to enter it..perhaps to comfort and talk of our loss's..I look foward to chatting on yahoo...you will hear from me..thank you for your ear..hugs.. honeydew!
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Thank you, my friend. I too have a lot of poetry about grief as I found comfort in writing as well. Do you have yahoo messenger? If so, you may add me, my SN is eternal_sorrows@yahoo.com. I would love to chat with you and yes, you can ramble all you wish. I know alot of people avoid us because of not knowing what to say without realising,they really don't need to say anything but if they could just listen, that would be such a great help for we want to talk about our loved ones, bot avoid them. If you do add me, just remember to tell me who you are so I will add you as well.
Rene' -
omg!!This is a beautiful write..I love every line..your love surely shines through this poem..espically the ending..your beautiful roses add such a touch of love..I see why you have won a trophy..my heart goes out to you for your loss..this is a beautiful heartfelt write...thank you for sharing your poem..
hugs..honeydew -
hi congrats on your win you did deserve it as not only was it an emotional and touching peice it had a good rhyme and emense flow very good lolxxxx
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Thank you so very very much. I am sorry about your friends loss. Grief is the hardest emotion for one to experience and I wish her a gentle healing.
Rene'
Edited on Sep 13, 8:22 p.m. because ''. -
right, i really dont think i should be saying this, but i feel i need to, your gauranteed a trophy. this is one of the most beautiful peices of work i have ever read, its just so emotional, im so sorry you lost someone, and thankyou so much once again,
Reneexx -
this made me cry. its so beautiful, thankyou so much for this i really apreactiate it
Xx -
Thank you for your reply.
TD -
good poem..good luck in the contests!
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Hi Syah, and congrats on your wedding. Thank you for your wonderful reply.
TD
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Wow...you just brought tears to my eyes, and that does not happen so frequently with words of a stranger. I am from Mo. too, so decided to check your work out...I am now adding you to my favorites, and will be reading a lot more of your poetry! Peace, Syah
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wow the poems you have came out with recently i can relate to so bad.. it is very awesome.. but anyway.. i love your poetry they flow so well together and the endings are awesome.. keep up the great work.
Truly,
April -
i loved it. it gave a tingling feeling down my spine. good write. you are very talented. i loved it loved it loved it! keep it up.
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i love the way the poem flowed,as it brought about the extremes of true love,i love the blend and the changes,this poem is amazing,and well done,thank you for your entry.
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Another great write by you. I love your writes you're just an awsome writer! If you ever become published and BIG I want you to sign my book
lol and i want to shake your hand...and i want you to take me out to dinner LOL anyways yeah...just sign my book lol. anyways I really do love your poetry keep on writing you do a great job at it...you are my favorite writer on her i do believe
Joshuacrisel -
Nice to see you penning again Renee... I just love your writes
This was a spectacular one written by you my friend, thanks for sharing yourself and that wonderful heart inside of ya, laters
Keep up the great work!
-Little tim
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this was sooo very nice i liked it alot!! good luck in your contest it was just soo beautyful
-kAt<33
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BEAUTIFUL!
So very sweet and lovely my friend; you sure have a way of touching my heart with your very beautiful words. -
Powerful Pen!
I'm sorry, this just touches my heart, just seeing how much love is within side your sweet soul, thanks for always being you, I love your every heartbeat, and you express ever pitter patter beautifully! 
zzzzzz
Thanks for sharing, love me, Timothy
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This piece has a really nice flow to it. THe ending really hit me... so sad.
It's beautifully written. Best of luck to you in the contest!
All the best!
Mandy -
Ah, what a touching and, yet, so deeply anguished write. Even though the love of my life was still alive when he departed from me (and I have no idea where he is or how he's doing now), the memories remain, lingering and often coming back to torment me as the second anniversary of the breakup draws near. The fact that I continue to navigate toward writes that remind me of him doesn't help either, although that is not your fault. I really love how visual you made this piece...it's nostalgic, and everyone who has ever loved and lost (to death or otherwise) will be able to relate.
I hope you are well, my dear
Many blessings,
Raven Aurora
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awsome but it made me cry cuz it brouht back old memories!!
IT WAS REALLY GOOD!!! -
A very sweet poem. But I won't lie I thought that this stanza:
"Shadows in the darkness
dancing in the skies
holding hands together
to strengthen our bonds ties." sounded forced. Skied ansd ties seemed like you just had to keep the rhyme going. A good poem so good luck in the contest.
-Meg -
This is such a nostalgic, yet tragic poem. I liked the formant and the overall had such an appeal, but a few of the lines and rhymes are trite or banal. You might want to look it over again. Just a suggestion. It is marvelous anyway!
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oh wow, this piece hit the emotion nerve for me... it was so well written and read so smoothly. just one suggestion to make the rhyme flow nearly perfect-- etched deep in my mind; try within, instead of "in"... thanks so much for sharing. much love to you, robin
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A++
That was so sweet I am adding you to my favorites!
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that was beautiful
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This is a beautifl write and I love the last line. Even after death, It reminds me of the Evanescence song Even In Death, Such a pretty write. Good flow to it aswell. Keep writing.
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touching
This sounds like good song lyric material to me. Possibly a CW or R&B hit in the making, if you shared it. -
hey this poem is great and has great feeling great job it very nice.
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Yea, he was my world!! The best!
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rose-worthy
that's nice. he must have been wonderful for you too write something worthy of a rose.
John
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