English
DIFFERENCES AND DEFINITIONS :
What is the difference beween ?
A sea captain and a corrupt judge ?
One is in charge of sailors, the other charges, sells laws.
A welcome and an unwelcome guest ?
One stays over, the other overstays.
A cross wire, and a worse crier ?
Telephone and phony tale.
A merchant and a merchantman ?
One sells wares, the other wears sails.
A poor singer and a harpoonist ?
One wails scales, the other scales whales.
A gourmet and a gourmand ?
One eats out, the other outeats.
A broker and a middleman ?
One deals in shares, the other shares in deals.
A cheat and a forgetful person ?
One looks over, the other overlooks.
A hunter and a coward ?
One fights the ducks, the other ducks the fights.
Pollution and a poor sailor ?
One is a a sea slick, the other seasick.
A salmon packer and a priest ?
One cans goods, the other cans Gods, they both fish.
Propaganda and a bat ?
One lights hate, the other hates light, and both are blind.
Woman of heart & woman of mind ?
One ambitions caresses the other caresses ambitions.
Rain is to cloudbreak what reign is to crowd break
HE: ‘I go out whenever I please !’
SHE: ‘You please whenever you go out !’
DEFINITIONS: English
Family man
Time is relatives
Unsuccessful hitchhiker
One who waits for the cars to come home
Bullish investor
One who turns up for the upturn
Internet Political vice
E_gerie - mandering
Prussian Security
Stalag might makes stalag tight
Film Doctor
Cine Med or Medecin - or made a sin ?
Truth.
An unstable reflection distorted in the mirror of passing time
Advice to a wife.................Be short to others, belong to me !
Further advice...................Be short with others, but long for me !
Epitaph on a curate............‘I urned my living’
Narcissism........................ Echo Ero Centricity
Clean hands on a schoolboy is like a widower remarrying :
The triumph of hope over experience.
Tongue twister............Fellatious Argument
Institutions 2 Definitions........One maddens broking houses, the other houses broken madmen
Definition of life:
A term of imprisonment commencing with nine months’ protective custody, followed by between 18 and 21 years internment, and 47 years of hard labour with a couple of tears of retirement thrown in for good measure if one meets no accidents, no illness, and avoid tsunamis like the plague and the plague like tsunami.
Approximately three score years and ten of parole, with a biometric identity bracelet, the greater part spent serving a concurrent sentence of wedlock or penile servitude.
The sum is reviewed before final sentence is pronounced by a Star Chamber High Court with a devil’s advocate and an Appeals’s Judge in a black cap.
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French
DIFFERENCES & DEFINITIONS :
La femme de tête & la femme de coeur ?
Une caresse des ambitons, l’autre ambitionne des caresses.
Un juif sans réussite et un juif sans foi ?
Diaspo-raté ou Diaspor-athée.
Travail et grêve ?
La récompense ou l’arrêt qu’on pense.
DEFINITIONS: French
Mémoires de demi-mondaine
Vingt mille lieux sous les draps.
Contrats Arabs
Soit des pots de vin, soit dépôt de bilan.
Musique qui chauffe la salle
Ré au mur
Une primadonna passée
Hier Ronde Elle
Un pervert en voiture
Auto da fétichiste
Mémoires de Mao
Ma Chine infernale
Revers des primeveres
Déprime vers
Casino
Des sous de table
Solution pour le tiers monde Pain...assez !
Le chasseur heureux
L’homme des caves vernis
La Vie
C’est naissance à senescence
L’anormal L’homme qui perd le nord
L’épitaphe du forain
Ci-gîtan !
Le rêve de l’adorée
Elle dort à dos
Crime passionnel Abattement de coeur
Négociations du GATT
Ja...chère de poule
Le mari de l’anglaise
L’étranglé ou l’être anglais
Bayard l’intouchable
Lepreux chevalier, sans poches,
sans proches, sans reproches
Les étapes de la pyschanalyse
Chic analyse - chicaneries - chic aneries
Les crocs mordents font des corps billards
Délits d’initié
Crimes et chuchotements
Experience
Il vaut mieux rêver avec espoir que d’arriver au bon porc
Swan Song I Leda Liede
Swan Song II La cygne et l’assignation
Silver trophy winner
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