Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Laughable

This whole thing could be laughable
If it weren’t so goddamn sad
Me standing outside in the rain
Waiting, hoping, that you will see me
Why can’t you see me
Am I not pretty enough
Good enough
Kind enough
Smart enough
I'd do anything if you let me in
but here I am with my face pressed against the glass
Soaked
This whole thing could be laughable
If it didn’t hurt so much

Author notes


Written April 12th, 2005

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • hearttouchedfool
    April 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    oh goshie! thank you very much lol i just got into the poem and writing game and i like it but i'm hoping i will improve more soon! Thank you

    Gentle


  • FireWalkWithMe
    April 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Poignant. Nice atmosphere of loneliness, and the rain is a nice touch. Pathetic fallacy, I think it's called. I like the last two lines. Good job. Keep writing.

  • hearttouchedfool
    April 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    lol thanks

  • Born OF SIN
    April 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    this is really good i like the imagery i'm a gothic kid to but not really (i'm not a morbid kinda person)