The light on the back of my eye lids begin to fade
As I drift off into a deep slumber
Further and further deeper and deeper
Where I'll end up i can only wonder
Then darkness settles into view
Can't see my hands in front of my face
I walk around aimlessly searching
For someone in this place
I aimlessly wounder about in this darkness
Looking for a way out
Seems like I'm going around in circles
And I can't find my way about
Someone please help me
Save me from my fears
Grab me out of this dream of lostness
Please help whip away my tears
I scream out your name so loudly
Why can't you hear me call
My voice is oh so loud
Yet you can't hear me at all
I fall down crying on the stone cold floor
Wishing someone would save me
From the darkness that now is consuming my soul
But now i guess its meant to be
Author notes
Written April 12th, 2005
A contest entry
- The YECHO by TragicFlaw.
650 points, ended April 14, 2005, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
Thank you TragicFlaw
If i make errors forgive me but usually i dont go back to change them.
XOXO
~laura -
Mike,
Thank you so much for reading my stuff! Glad i have another great supportive fan.
XOXO
~laura -
this was a good write however... there were a few spelling errors. i wasn't particularly sure either if you needed to repeat aimlessly. Your ryhming also seems to be quite forced at times.... "lostness" isn't a word ... is it? whip should be wipe. excluding the few technical errors this piece is a very dark and powerful piece. such a feel of lonliness... i also liked ho you ended it.
God Bless
Good Luck
Amber -
A very powerful piece, Laura. It's a very lonely feeling to know that you are in a dark place and there's no one to turn to. Sometimes we reside ourselves to think that it is meant to be.
A great piece of dark poetry and very well done.
Mike
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