"do it you know you want to
put that noose around your neck
tie it as tight as you can
jump off the ladder
no one will care
who will notice your gone anyways"
that voice so taunting and cruel
it's constantly bothering me
telling me what to do
it calls itself the voice of reason
I call it depression and despair
"go on birdy do it
show them you can fly
they don't care about you
why should you say good-bye
do it go on and do it
there's no need for you to cry
go on birdy do it
don't you want to spread your wings?
go on it's not too high
and if you jump properly
quickly and painlessly
you'll die"
it doesn't always taunt
sometimes it's gentle and soft
sometimes when I'm dreaming
it shows me what I want
"you can't make people care
but you can make them regret
write them a letter
something they wont forget
paint it in blood
all over your floor and wall
make sure you get blood every where
when you fall
punish them for never being there
and ruining your life
show them how your feeling
slit your wrists and throat with a knife"
I wrote down what it wanted
I made a list of my troubles
and fears
told them all the shit
that happened through the years
made a list of people
who ripped andtore me apart
wrote it in a letter
that would break
a human heart
"what do you have
to be guilty about
it's just another way out
it's not like they need them
their just old pills
they forgot about
they never said you couldn't have them
so why not take them all
don't drop the container
when you fall show them
you took them all"
I wonder about the people
the ones who might actually care
but that daunting voice reminds me
how often they were never there
when I needed them the most
when I need them around
they don't always see
how they constantly abandon me
I have to look out for myself
they voice will always repeat
"if you don't do it now
you'll remain under their feet"
"I know your desires
and I can help you be free
come on listen to me
all you have to do
is commit suicide
pick up the gun
close your eyes
and count to three
pull the trigger baby
and you'll finally be free"
the voice is so tempting
I don't know what to do
I want to get it over with
but I still want to be with you
these thoughts are driving me crazy
I've mentioned it before
mom and dad can't help me
they only hurt me more
"I'm taking over
I've got her in my grasp
I'm gonna get it over with
I'll free her at last
she wont have to suffer
and remain all alone
I'm gonna make them realize
the things they've never known"
I'm sorry I had to do it
I hope you can forgive me
but this is how is has to be
please don't be unhappy
and cry over me
I didn't suffer from depression
but emotional Insanity
Author notes
ummkm I am not 100% percent sure where this came from I guess my fall out or what ever it was with bryan inspired me to dig deep into my emotionally creative deep dark depressed side I dunno feeling odd and somewhat depression inspired I feel I am in the right mind frame to write things that are not about ones loving heart I dunno I feel like death tonight I guess blah thanks ttyl
Written April 12th, 2005
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AMAZING
I love this poem so so much its like your in my head...im crying now that someone else can expresshow i feel...thankyou...and as ive already said I LOVE IT...
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AMAZING fknnnn poem, gawsh, way to like make me CRY!!
I love you.
And the poem.
Only, if you ever did all these things,
I'd have to go and hurt whoever made you this sad.
But yes,
I'm in love.
With this poem.
<333333333333333333333333333
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hmmm
don't you ever listen
too many ppl will miss you
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dont worry im past that stage and i doubt i'd ever kill myself i love life too much even if my life can b shitty sometimes
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holy dear lord! lol Marie marie.. first time i read this. Truly horrific and convincing that someone else was helping the girl make the decision of suicide for her. Real good glimps of insanity at its finest!!
I am so proud. Truly you are incredible.. im still amazed bryan hasnt read any of your work.
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whoa
this is so full of emotion, emotion that some people feel everyday this is amazing Great job!
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this is beautiful...wow...i'm not really sure what to say...this is far better than many poems i have read in a long time brillant...
<3 silhouette
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Wow
You put that so well, flowing so smoothly, you almost hear the voice calling you as you read it. This is a very, very powerful peice, great write.
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it's kinda creepy that now when I read it I do kinda hear a whispering type of voice lol
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This is a really good write, the way you express the ramdom things in life.
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thanks sorry it took so long to get back to you
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hey thanks is anyone ever truely happy? I've been down depressing dark roads in my life and have always as far back as i could remember been depressed and all until 2 yrs ago when i hooked up with my bf but then the misery revealed itself again and now im in the middle of both worlds i cant seem to make up my mind wither im happy or sad so instead i am both if i am happy on the out side something inside starts to feel bad and if im sad on the outside something on the inside makes me happy i guess well i'll ttyl gotta go soon bye
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Wow so very powerful, this is such a controversial poem, only because I am "happy" but I can write some truly horrifying poetry!
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hey, i thought your poem was really good, however, i do find it strange that you can write so depressing poems yet inside yourself your truly happy, or are you? I write poems to, if you get the chance to read them you'll probably notice that there all sad and depressing as well and well im not a particularly really really happy person but well im cheerful but things in my life are upsetting and get me down so thats what i write about!! Any ways really good poem, babymush
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i really love this! im at school reading it and i was dragged into it, its like a whole story! i really do like how it all flows and captures what the person it#s thinking, i think that this shwows you write really well. welldone! i can relate a bit too, i see kind of one person causing all these feelings and i guess a writer puts a piece of themself on each line, dont you think? id like to know you more ill read some more poems. do you have msn? x shelley x
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