The concert had gone well
16,000 fans and not one empty seat
You feel the heat, Sarah was rockin em all with that hard metal beat
Sarah signalled the band ..all was quiet except the tap tap of the skins
The drummer had bought in the mood , her vocals screamed raw metal blues
Fire and smoke were every where, Lights shone from all directions dancing in the sound..
The crowd were screamin in the mosh pit
She bought her axe, now the metallic scream beamed to outer space
This was the sound , perfect, heavy , yet profound
Thud , thud, then the base kick, the keyboards joined and tempo got real quick
This was the rock music to feel to be, the crowd just swayed and screamed the chant of the chorus
Bass turned the bottom to a sound of electric fire, spearing music desire
Sarah reached out and grasped the sword, it was the sword of rock battles past.
It would take its holder to their peak and way past
She wielded it over her head, still singing she screamed another verse
Music lights and people all blurred, Sarah was one with the perfect sound.
The sword had done its job , she raised it again and threw it into the air
It disappeared in a flash, the crowd hushed , but Sarah kept rockin
This was her day, the day that had to come for the great talent within
She screamed before the awed crowd, who was this lady?
This lady and what was that sword that flash the fire of such power
It was the big hour to play and the band just played and played
Hands reached to the stage , but Sarah was off on a purple page
Her music now took her to that top chord , the one all muso's try to reach
She had done it, won it and now she could rest..
Goodnight she said, you have been a wonderful audience
She walked away to Clap , Clap, Clap of the huge audience
The lights went out...
But none of will ever forget..That Night Sarah found the sword and the incredible rock n roll of the band
Author notes
This ones for you Sarah
Although this was written as dedication to my friend Sarah it is a collection of experiences I have had myself and seen at concerts..
A contest entry
- The Field or Court; the Stage; the Symphony Hall by Peripatetic.
1500 points, ended December 7, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Melodic entries...[My first contest] by shtrdglassheart.
700 points, ended January 6, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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very interesting. I like this one alot. It gives a feeling of a rocl concert which is a first in my contest. Applause is needed for this piece.
"The sword had done its job , she raised it again and threw it into the air
It disappeared in a flash, the crowd hushed , but Sarah kept rockin
This was her day, the day that had to come for the great talent within
She screamed before the awed crowd, who was this lady?
This lady and what was that sword that flash the fire of such power
It was the big hour to play and the band just played and played
Hands reached to the stage , but Sarah was off on a purple page
Her music now took her to that top chord , the one all muso's try to reach
She had done it, won it and now she could rest.."
this stanza is beautiful. My all time favorite its awesome how you described the bass as it appears by you picture to the left in the background as a sword as apposed to the stereotypical axe. =] Hats off to you.
Thank you for entering my contest ..
And good luck =]
<3 shtrdglassheart
Mandi
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Congratulations on the silver!
Nice work.
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This poem gets better every time I read it.
The second stanza truly “rocks”, especially the first line, but then the rest of it takes off like a performance where the crowd and the band feed off one another. My identification with the “sword” is that moment when the crowd, even the performers think they know what is coming next, but the actual presentation explodes beyond the expectation of everyone including the lead singer.
The rest of the poem is like the frenzy which engulfs audience and performers alike. No one is truly conscious anymore after the sword has blazed forth. All are consumed by the rhythm, a storm from which there is no escape but which must simply blow itself out.
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Beautiful, though i'm not sure it flowed like a poem it is still very vivid and very nice
good luck!
~lathwen -
Wow! What a vivid image! Brilliant story. Loved the idea you presented. Your audience also applauds.
Samantha xxx -
truly aweeeeesommmme!
Me? Eee!!!! ^_^ This was amazing! Totally awesome. I could picture the stage... and the Axe.. a million screaming people. Heh, I wish it were real!! My Lord, it was awesome lol. Thanks a lot! I love your work!
Sarah
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