Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

A Creative Urge, We Spread Our Wings

 


A creative urge, we spread our wings
and fly away and fall
and glide over the near streams and glades.

 

Out of the trembling wakings of the earth
spring our two spirits, alight with expression
and soon mourning over the murder
of the morning frost.

 

The bloodhounds of midday are on it-
we watch them devour their early feast
and then sleepily bay in the unbending rays
of the quiet noon sun.

 

Away we soar
fanning the afternoon heat rising from the city below.
High above towers, the village, and dirty walls we circle,
and we thought we saw Paul Revere.

 

Hunger stirs us within.
We turn into the long flight home
and soon find ourselves painted in the amber light
off the evening clouds blushed by the setting sun-
soon it will be twilight, past dinner time.

 

We preen our feathers
in the breezes and transparent light
stirred by the cool slumbering moon,
for tomorrow is a day of toil;
though we have flown away unvexed
and on a long sojourn today,
healing our wounded hearts and taking rest,
we do not live for free!

 


 

 

 


 

Author notes

Reflecting a life where one can go out on an aimless adventure, only having to return to responsibilities!
Also poem born completely out of a creative urge!

This is a 3-4-4-4-5-8 poem.

(hehe, I made that up!)

I don't think I'm quite done editing this one...

Written April 10th, 2005

In a list

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • cloven gold member
    November 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    awsome imagery i fealt as if i was a bird

  • crazymexican2006
    April 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Bravo

    Wow, this piece is really awesome. All the parts seem to mesh together oh so well. Very descriptive, just like many of your other pieces, which is why I enjoy reading your work. I really can't find anything to criticize in this piece other than it seems like its missing something in the middle. Haha, I can't really say what but I feel something about it. Anyways, enough of my rambling. My favorite part was:

    Hunger stirs us within.
    We turn into the long flight home
    and soon find ourselves painted in the amber light
    off the evening clouds blushed by the setting sun-
    soon it will be twilight, past dinner time.

    Awesome poem, awesome description, awesome finale. Sweetness

    Peace

    Horacio


  • My Hidden Life
    April 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I like this poem, I honestly couldn't find any thing wong with it. I like how you worded it, it is diffrent form most poems, Its nice to read a poem that has nothing to do with pain and suffering (spoken by one who writes thoughs poems! lol) nice work! keep it up!
    -lolo

  • kandis107
    April 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow...your poem was very different and unexpected. it was anything but clique,...i like the way u express yourself in a way thats uniquly you with your own persona..when i read that poem i think only you (even though i dont even know you) could have written it and nothing anyone else writes would sound remotely like it. i like your style becuase it is so distinct


  • withdrawal
    April 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Ha ha! AWESOME!
    ~Jen

  • Mrs. Dumas silver member
    April 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Awww, I always hate returning from a trip or something and having to start that horrible responsible life up again. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't take vacations because I just don't like the feeling I get when it's over! You did great with this though. I loved it! Great job hun!


    Jess


  • Touchof1der silver member
    April 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    The doggone job does have a way of interferring with fun, doesn't it? To be carefree all the time might not be all we think it is though. We might get just as bored or lack stimulation in other areas of the mind. Who knows... it sure would be nice to test the theory though, wouldn't it? Great thoughts here!
    ♥ Kimberly

1 - 7 of 7