I want to write you a poem
that will capture the emotion I felt in my throat, the corners of my eyes, and in each of my breaths the last night I was with you.
When the warm, almost summer, air drifted in through the open door to touch our bodies lying side by side on the kitchen floor.
I want to write you a poem
that will imprint the meaning of our goodbye words on paper.
When after I heard the news tears trickled down my cheeks as I tried to put a lifetime of conversation into a month of borrowed time.
I want to write you a poem
that will carry our happiest moments together, and our saddest.
When I brought you flowers and we talked of them, happy, remorseful, serene, and for a moment the future didn't matter.
But most of all,
I want to write you a poem
because I want to keep you alive,
because I don't know how to let you go,
and,
because I love you.
But I fear I don't know how to begin.
Author notes
Written April 10th, 2005
A contest entry
- For the Fabulous Writers of AP by Jade Rain.
300 points, ended August 8, 2006, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is AMAZING! It's just so, ah, I'm speechless! I truely can not tell you how much I've enjoyed this poem!
"But most of all,
I want to write you a poem
because I want to keep you alive,
because I don't know how to let you go,
and,
because I love you."
Were the most sincere words I've read in this contest. A job well done, and I wish you the best of luck! -
thanks...yeah I know the last line is cliche...but I like it for the moment...if I think of something more true to the poem then I will change it...but for now...that is how it ends...and not everything is climatic in life so I likes it. Thanks for the comment though!
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"touch our bodies lying side by side on the kitchen floor"
I don't know what it is, exactly, but this line makes me smile. It's just those little perfect moments that make relationships worth crying over once they end. It's those small, perfect, serene...times that you share with that person...that make you love them. And that line just so sums it up, it's ridiculous.
ReDONKulous!
Great write. The last line is sort of...hmm...cliche? Just sort of seems like a cop-out because the rest of the poem is so good. Rather, the ending is very anti-climax...anti-climactic. Jesus, I can't spell or think.
Good poem.... -
'But most of all,
I want to write you a poem
because I want to keep you alive,
because I don't know how to let you go,'
*sigh* If only it were possible to put those moments into words, I know how you feel, my most recent write is like this, I tried and failed to put the importance of a night into the words of a poem...and its just not the same. Your poem is bitter but beautiful, and those last lines sum up how I feel exactly. Thankyou for being so honest and this good with words.
Cheers
Avian -
thanks for catching that! And thanks for the comments ^_^
Edited on Apr 12, 1:27 p.m. because ''. -
this is so full of emotion. its lovely i love it. the only thing i suggest is to check some of the spelling. (i suck at spelling...so i have to check like a million times to make sure its decent) i think you were just typing fast and couldnt catch the extra letters in lines 9 and 14 i beleive.
overall this poem was great. i loved it. -
Wow...I have started this comment 3 different times and still, all I can come up with is a most profound..."WOW". Very well done. One error, but no big deal 'workds' but this was outstanding! Sad and loving all rolled into one outstanding write!
Lily ~* -
awww
dont look now, but i think youve just written a poem! hehehe
Great write!
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