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Melodic Wandering.




Shall I cry a river...
can I spare the time
knowing me forever
love was always blind

trust was always present
in this world of ours
sitting close together
staring at the stars

silence sits next to me
where you once held court
dried up words of comfort
do nothing but distort

So shall I cry a river
or sing about the blues
a rhapsody to haunt me
your melody I choose.........





Author notes


Written April 9th, 2005

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • cutiepie gold member
    April 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you my friend

  • Fellow poet
    April 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    cool and sweet


  • cutiepie gold member
    April 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I appreciate your opinion Thank you , I dont normally rhyme but this poem just ended up rhyming. Not my normal style as I prefere freestyle as being more expressive ( that is just me, I am not generalising) I take on board your suggestions. Many thanks for taking the time to help

  • cutiepie gold member
    April 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you


  • Wings of Dawn
    April 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Oh I'm sorry you are down. Im having a bit of a rough peiod myself, but as I always say

    When the world is crying crimson tears, make your mind your sanctuary.

  • Paragon Belial
    April 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, I do agree that this read a lot like a song. And 'twas a very good read. Very well written.

    But I didn't like the
    "silence sits next to me
    where you once held court
    dried up words of comfort
    do nothing but distort"
    verse.
    I think that the second and third lines seem pretty stretched into rhyme, and the "court" image doesn't really gel with the rest of the poem.

    But that's just my opinion, the rest of the poem is great.


  • skellious
    April 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    love it, this would go great with music, i want to SING!!! i love this kind of poem, write lots more!!! favorite line: a rhapsody to haunt me; I LOVE THIS POEM!!!!!!!!!

  • cutiepie gold member
    April 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you Michael, I appreciate your kind comments

  • Michael 54
    April 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Wow, this is truely a sad story. Nothings worse then when they are gone but your heart wants to tell you different. Excellent piece expressing those emotions. Keep up the great writes. Take care.

    Michael


  • tearrsofthemoon
    April 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is a great read! I love it, and I know how you feel. I like this poem a lot, and you did a great job writing it, vivid imagery, and I love the way you rhymed, another great effect I love it. Lovely read, and I hop that things will get better for you. These are my favorite lines:
    trust was always present
    in this world of ours
    sitting close together
    staring at the stars
    I like these lines becuase I have done the same thing, and felt the same way in the end. Nice write, I love it.

  • cutiepie gold member
    April 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks my friend..yes you caught me on a dark day


  • wattle silver member
    April 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Oh Ms Cutie this reads rather down for you - hope it stops raining soon. - Still it's a great read for me - thank you

1 - 12 of 12