Every time I think of you I cry.
I cry because I still love you.
I cry because I want to hate you but I can't.
I cry because you remind me of the better days we shared.
I cry because I want things to be ok between us again.
I cry because you don't me anymore and probaly never did.
I cry because I can't help but thinking of you.
I cry because its the only thing I can do besides love you.
Author notes
wrote it cuz i did
Written April 6th, 2005
A contest entry
- 15liners only by gothic samurai.
300 points, ended April 16, 2005, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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there is one error in this poem that just kinda kills the whole poem or maybe there isnt an error but it doesnt work with out it in the the line "I cry because you don't me anymore and probaly never did." you should put another word inbetween don't and me then it would work good i think you should either put care or love there but other then that good poem good luck in the contest
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TEARS are evil. lol j/k. one day you will find a guy that wont make you sad or make you cry. then you will smile. i'd rather see a smile than see tears of sadness. great write though. keep up the good work! lys! whenever you need me just let me know!!
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Been there!
Done that!
mmmmm I can still taste the tears...
Thanks for Sharing~
Michael
Edited on Apr 08, 5:28 because ''. -
Wow.. You cry a lot. I will send you a tissue to help wipe away those tears.. You always write with a lot of emotion. I know one day a smile will pop out and you will write with more passion. As for these, they are very good because they express how you feel inside. Keep it up, your very good at expressing your thoughts and feelings. God Bless You my friend!!
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Heh... I know the feeling here.
I hope everything gets better for you, if it is not good at this point. ^^; I'm not sure if this break-up is recent or not, so, heh, I'll just say the above. 
Anyway, to the Critical Review.
There isn't much that I saw wrong. o.< I'm proud. You used punctuation and capitalization correctly.
"I cry because you don't me anymore and probably never did."
I think you may have missed a word in this line. o.o
"I cry because I can't help but thinking of you."
And I think that 'thinking' should be 'think.' ^^
That's about it... Other than that, it looks great. ^^ Good job and keep writing.
*Moon Bless
Raven
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