I'm the loose girl,
I'm a misfit,
Sleeping with anybody
Who'll have me.
I'm a coward,
in my room,
hiding from the mirror.
I don't want to,
see the scars.
I'm the loose girl,
who likes to cry,
tears of blood,
from too much pain.
I've been evicted,
I don't feel like,
this is me.
I'm a misfit,
but I play it well,
I enjoy the stares,
but secretly,
this is hell.
all the voices,
meld into one,
WHO ARE YOU GIRL?
I'm the loose girl,
with the 'boob's,
it's all they see,
'cos they don't look.
I'm the misfit,
with the pierced tongue,
it's all they see,
'cos they don't look.
Author notes
Written April 5th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Interesting
-
people only see what they want to see and they don't see the person that is really there..there are always gonna be that handful of close-minded and assonine people in this world..they need to open their eyes to reality and meet the beautiful people of this world
Edited on Apr 05, 7:49 because ''. -
I agree that "lyrics" might be a bit of a inaccurate category to place this peice in. You did do a good job of stating your positions and explaining the way you (or the character) feels about the treatment you recieve. I think it would be important to include a few more examples of why you are treated this way aside from the boobs and peirced tounge.
-
Well, I clicked on due to the title; it caught my eye. (And is definately too much.) The poem is good and you state your case very well. I am not sure this classifies as lyrics. It may benefit from some rhyming. Overall, not a bad write. Thank you for sharing.
-
Liked it
Brings a good persepective of a persona that is usually diregarded and judged, i like the honesty of the poem at the start aswell.. good job -
Ah, mademoiselle, you are screaming "Argh!" like that - so long and loud - the perfect title for this piece. Negatives, then positives: If you want to make this an amazing, unforgettable piece, you could brush up a little on the word choice, maybe vary the opening line in each stanza by using more wit and humour (Quotes, sayings, monolgues? Experiment). I like the concept, I really do, especially in the last stanza, where the 'cos they don't look' thing generates applause from me because of its effective irony. I think irony is your strength, use it well like here - I'm a misfit,
but I play it well,
I enjoy the stares,
but secretly,
this is hell.
Especially when your irony goes hand-in-hand with the rhyming scheme.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
