Waiting for the whisper
of joy being won
in the cold dark hours
longing for the sun
If only I knew
how to prove
your presence
is the essence:
everything I need
to feel relieved
of isolation's greed
My muse, my fuse
even if it's only
imagination's ruse
I'll hold to the hope
recognition brought;
some recompence
for all that I've fought
Waiting for the whisper
of joy being won
in cold dark hours
longing for the sun
![You Have Loved Enough - Leonard Cohen [song audio]](http://img.allpoetry.com/images/bg/custom/Maatkara/heart-diamond2.jpg "You Have Loved Enough - Leonard Cohen [song audio]"){kind=small}
Author notes
Partly inspired by: 'Ten New Songs' by Leonard Cohen.
Read the lyrics and listen to clips of all the tracks of the album here: www.webheights.net/10newsongs/songs.htm" target="_blank">Ten New Songs
[Click on the ♥ diamonds to hear the Cohen songs: 'You Have Loved Enough' & 'Take This Longing']
Written April 5th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything you want...Show me Your Best Poems..I need inspiration..PW's Welcome! by Hetha.
2100 points, ended August 20, 201 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 48 of 48
-
Very well written. Your rhyme and alliteration are superb! Your border was fantastic and fit quite nicely with your piece. Thank you for gracing my contest with such a lovely entry.
-
-
Thank you for the HM, appreciate it
Would have been interested to know what you thought of my first entry that you missed (only viewed by your co-host
) i.e. http://allpoetry.com/poem/613792
-
-
Thank you, Rosita!
Oh that is actually from a pic of a real diamond - uncut, just as it came out of the ground.
-
lovely
Jamie was right, it is to read your poetry when you're being a little doubting Thomas *claps for Maatkara!!*
a beautiful piece you have here and I like the background, but could you tell me what it is? it looks like ice...or maybe it's a picture of a person!?
<3 lovely piece Maatkara!
Rosita -
Quite Excelent,... It was fast and I loved the rhyme scheme...
-
Simply beautiful! Thanks for sharing this!
-
This was a great poem! I liked how you repeated the first stanza in the last stanza. Really worked out well!
Hugs Nicole xoxoxoxo -
4 Stars ****
oh my... wow... i mean.. this poem speaks so much even though it is small.. i like the way you have rhymed this poem.. i mean.. it difficult to rhyme in such short poem.... seems like a natural free write.. very good
take cares and have a nice time my dear friend... just keep it up... your humble little friend...
..... 
... .... - vic ( who else? )
P.S thanks for remembering my name... tee hee -
I have a few stuff from this album (I like a Thousand kisses deep, By the Rivers dark) but thanks for the link anyways
-
Thank you, Joao Actually, if you like Cohen you may like that album, Ten New Songs (link added to comment box)
Edited on May 26, 9:02 p.m. because 'old link'. -
Leonard Cohen is great. I love "So Long, Marianne"...well, It is a nice poem, I can see the "music" there.
-
great job
Wow, the first thing I noticed while reading this was how absolutely beautifully it flows from one line to the next, kind of like the reader is floating along to the words. I like the "longing for the sun" line, it has a lot of symbolism and leaves the reader to interpret it any way they wish.
I also like the phrase "isolation's greed," and other lines as well. This is a very thought-provoking poem, and I like that you have obviously put so much work itno it. Or at least, you did a great job!
Thanks a lot for entering, good luck!
~dresden-moon -
I really like your work
-
smooth warm knowledge of security
internal peace perceiving the way of a calm mind over external reality -
hey great write, it progresses so well, it feels like waves washing by with every line i read, thanks for sharing, tim aka childofthenight
-
Lovely. Well written. Just lovely!
-
Thank you, Mary! You summed it up very aptly, actually.
-
The refrain stanza turns thoughts inward and that may mean different things to different people. To me it is about spiritual struggles against the material elements...though I may be off this meaning came through clearly to me. A thought provoking work and beautifully written.
-
BEAUTIFUL
Such a beautiful poem of love and hope. You have reached out and touched my heart with this very touching and beautiful poem -
"If only I knew how to prove your presence is the essence"
Oh geeze! I'm glad to see that some people are getting 'there'
Those whisper can say and change so much!
This is simply lovely!
Kisses,
Mari
-
There is no 'wrong' or 'right' reading of it, really. It means whatever it says to you, as it's intended to have multi-level yet inclusive perspectives. Physical/spiritual etc.
~G
-
I like what this says, but I don't know what it says. There are parts I think I get, but I don't quite get it. "Isolation's greed" seems like it might mean many things, but I am not sure what. I like the "muse" part. I like the first stanza, but I am not clear on it. On the whole, I feel the poem is very good, but seems above me.
Andy -
Thank you for your comment and applause, Joshua!
So glad you liked it, great to hear from you!
~G
-
very nice... very very nice. im glad ive had more time to get on lately and read everyones poetry because if i didnt i would miss stuff like this. very well written
-
Thank you, RW! I'm so glad you liked it! Good to hear from you again.
~G
-
maat, you never cease to stun me, I was in a mood when I logged on and its wonderful how this peice flowed into that, thanks that was beautiful. RW
-
This is thought-provokingly beautiful! I love poetry that makes me meditate on each line. There is an urgency in your yearning and it is easily recognized here. This is stellar. You have allowed the reader into your heart and, mind with this poem. Thoughts prevade...Wonderful!
Lisa
Edited on Apr 05, 9:03 p.m. because ''. -
ingenius
I love this. My favorite part is this:
My muse, my fuse
even if it's only
imagination's ruse
I can relate to that. Very beautifully written. -
Inspiring write
When the enlightened one I follow,has a issue in question.My knees start to knock.In fear,of my own self assuredness.But just as sure am I that you will always find your way in the darkness.Your own talented soul is a guiding light that will show you the correct path .You have a mystical gift within you.Believe,never have a doubt.Its simple not warrented....lol~~`Suseann -
Maatkara, I honestly could have written this myself. I mean I couldn't because I I don't have your talent, but my thoughts have been filled with this last night, and all morning. Looks like we have something in common, but for you(assuming you are speaking your heart in this poem)...it is just over the horizon.
Okay, and now about thepoem- this is grand- I would say one of the sweetest, and lovliest poems you have ever written, with such a touch of tenderness, that it would create in anyone reading this, the same feeling you had when writting it- something we all would love to achieve in our poetry. The flow is simply amazing, and your word choices so perfect.
-
Man, people with doubts...I think every friend I have hear has faced those doubts....stop thinking!
No, I certainly understand. As a youth I made the journey and while I often check that decision, I've never seen anything to make me change it.
Someone who desperately wishes to see the signs that their beliefs are real must have an agonizing time of it. Some never qustion existence, and other never question non-existence, and some (like me) don't question because we believe an answer can't be found. But those who are in search are in a sort of flux...and I don't envy that.
Of course you could also take this poem on a less secular path if one chooses...I just didn't choose.
I have a headache today...this poem didn't cause it but made comprehension more difficult.
-
Oh thank you, Jenn!
-
In light of recent events of my church, this is such a priceless write for me. So many different things being said....supporters, bashers...it's good to read this and take it completely to heart!
Jenn -
Maatkara, my dear friend, deep but not too deep to get the meaning. Night and sleep and resurrection, that's what I get out of this. Your words upon this page are beautiful and your background is dazzling. Thanks for sharing. Love You. Be Well and Be Blessed.
-
A peek into your sanctorum?
This piece conjured up the image of a monk meditating and finding himself in a sanctuary of darkness, waiting patiently while disciplining his mind free of anxiety and projection... waiting for that experience of enlightenment which, when it tests one's patience, can provoke those restless motives within us to show themselves and prove the worth of our self discipline, that we might be able to present ourselves absolutely open to receive that which we are waiting for... -
Thank you, Sharron! That is beautiful, I'm honoured to have inspired you.
Love always,
G
Edited on Apr 05, 10:36 because ''. -
Brilliance TRUE GOLD I love you heart and sou
Rain in the whisper of pain
Joy won or lost at what cost
If I long for the sun
Will we ever be one?
If only I could see
Beyond my destiny
Then I would know
My essence means nothing
Within the larger scope
Of things to be in freedom
My muse must sail on free
As I bow in your lightness
One more time around the bend
We see each other once again
In the seams of all our dreams
Paint me in your joy eternally
I’ve fought and I’ve lost
Sorrow only brings rain
I’ve risen above the pain
Longing to hold your destiny
Where dragons can set each other free
Through the darkness we sing eternally
As I sing Ave Maria in the sunshine’s wings
Amen Amen in the still rain of the heavens.
My Beloved Gennelle I do not know why these words came to me naturally.
Maybe it is because I love you so, in my heartbeat and eternal soul.
The greatest gift I can be or to share with thee, are my words of love
As I remain an eternal captive of your brilliant grace and heaven sent love.
Blessed Be my new old friend for guiding me so tenderly through stormy seas
Like a bridge over troubled waters, you’re always here there and everywhere for me.
I thank my lucky stars up above for the tender grace I find in your velvet gloves of destiny.
~XXX Hugs, Love, Kisses, Eternal Peace, to you and yours, Namaste Blessed Be, Sharron~
Edited on Apr 05, 2:45 p.m. because ''. -
Makes My Head Dance
Wow G!
You really knock em dead! lol Hey I love this :
Waiting for the whisper
of joy being won
in cold dark hours
longing for the sun
But the whole poem bounced nicely. You are a bard and this proves it! Thanks for informing me. Keep flying high.
Tommy -
Thank you, Susan! That's the most gratifying thing to hear. Bless you!
~G
-
LOL! Windworder, thank you for the great comment my friend!
~G
Edited on Apr 05, 8:50 because ''. -
This is going to mean something different to each and every person who reads it.
I am drawn immediately back to last night and a call I received to pray.
so many long nights of darkness praying for daylight to come and with it brighter thoughts.
I cannot even verbalize my thoughts on this it is as though it was written for me and where I am at this very moment.
Susan -
I hate it when I have to look up words in the TITLE of a poem, and then get confused after reading the definition. Angled views of a parallel view, that is deep. Second stanza caused me to hit the speed bump with several attempted reads until I put the word "of" between the words, 'essence' and 'everything'. The message is clear enough and could actually tease with the last "sun" being changed to "son." You must have had some brand fiber this morning, I hear its good for brain cell growth. Hehehe As always, a pleasure to see the tracks left by your pen.
Edited on Apr 05, 8:42 because ''. -
Thank You, Steve! Appreciate your comment
-
Thank you Margaret! I was hoping I wasn't too obscure, and that the spiritual perspective would be clear too. I see I needn't have worried . May still be 'under construction' a little (I shouldn't write when too tired)
~G
-
There is a lot in these few lines. The balance between faith, hope and proof is delicate - we doubt, yet in faith we still hope, and then seek proof to build up faith. When someone points to proof, few see it. To me, the cold dark hours refer to the self at the beginning, to others in the second refrain. You have an unusual ability to pack meaning into a few words.
-
i always know that your craft will make me think about higher places ... very well done
Adding your comment:
1 - 48 of 48
27 old applause
