Demons In The Dark
Something out there beckons me
Coaxing..'come, come and see'
I feel it peeking through the dark
The night so secret, cold and stark
I cannot move, I listen, quiet and still
To an eerie sound so loud and shrill
The sound reverberates through the night
And all night creatures hide in fright
I freeze, afraid to move, even to breathe
What horror awaits on this All Hallow's Eve
I cannot resist this urge to go
To face the night, the fear I know
My hand trembles as I open the door
And feel the fear as never before
What fate awaits me, I dare not ask
And as I step out I feel it's grasp
Cold and damp upon my wrist
Threating, demanding, it gives a twist
Jagged nails dig into my flesh, deep
Blood trickles then flows as I weep
I try to resist but it draws me near
As once again eerie shrills I hear
Frightening me away, yet I must go
For what awaits me, I must know
Stealing quickly towards the woods
Across the darkened neighborhoods
And over the bridge where demons wait
For passersby in frenzied state
Their hunger, knawing, craving flesh
Tender morsels, hardened bone, mesh
As blood drips from each greedy tongue
Gorging themselves on old and young
For all who've ever passed this way
Have never again seen the light of day
I struggle to be free from this mighty foe
Before I become victim, one more lost soul
My captor pauses, his grip tightens
No chance to escape, his hold never lightens
He stares at the demons but they're busy now
Feasting upon their latest prowl
Across the narrow bridge we take flight
Why can't I turn back, dissappear in the night
Back to my bed so cozy and warm
Where creatures under the bed mean no harm
But on we go, this monster and I
No time for answers, no matter why
Darkness closes in, the stars dissappear
Mournful wailing, ghoulish figures near
Where is this place, this hole
I fear for my life, my very soul
This must be hell for up ahead I spy
Darkened figures writhing, waiting to die
Flames licking at their dancing feet
Awaiting Satan, for their chance to meet
And I, who never meant to go this far
Can't stop this pain, this sorrow, this war
Mighty foes, dark demons in store
I want to run yet I must see more
What brought me to this need to know
What lies beyond, what made me go
Dear God forgive me help me please
Before these monsters my soul do sieze
I did not know, nor did I care
These demons lie in wait everywhere
Am I doomed to this hell on earth
Beseeching fear for all it's worth
I know now I should not have opened the door
Should have stayed inside forever more
We all know there's monsters with such a nack
Waiting their chance to hold out their sack
'Twas all a dream, I fell asleep
And opened the door to "Trick or Treat"
Dee Garner
October 26, 2002
Author notes
For the current Partners In Crime contest in October 2009... I might replace this with another poem if I can think of one before the deadline.
Option #2
When I first wrote this I thought it was kind of dorky... my first ever attempt at dark poetry..well, I guess you'd call this kinda dark.
But now that I re-read it, it doesn't seem too bad for what it's for.
Anyhow, I hope it gives the reader that feel of foreboding scariness, even terror, even near heart attack from the fear.. ummm.. well, I guess that's a little too much to expect...lol... maybe it'll at least draw a laugh ot two at my feeble attempts of a scarey poem.
Hope you enjoy
Written October 26th, 2002
A contest entry
- Partners n crime contest - Halloween Edition by Partners In Crime.
700 points, ended October 15, 2007, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - They're creepy and they're kookey, Mysterious and spookey... by Amunet Wolfbane.
1050 points, ended November 9, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Partners In Crime October contest by Partners In Crime.
1900 points, ended October 29, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 54 of 54
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Great poem here!
How pleasant when the fears and despairs of the night are shattered by those little buggers, huh. You sure got a lot of great comments for this, and well deserved I must say. Perhaps our sufferings in this world are preparing us for an eternity of peaceful repose in blessed oblivion. Best wishes as always to a great poet!
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Awesome
I loved it =) and I'm not even one that really reads as much poems as most on here =) The feeling to this poem was amazing, you really created a great atmosphere for the reader to bask in.
I'm also glad to see theres another author out there who makes long rhyming poems =) it's awesome!
Cheers, Joshua.
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Hahaha now I know I don't miss anything on halloween, I think a lot of children will feel the same as I do right now......
No, I just stay inside, read your write and only give some candy if the doorbell rings....
XXJeannette
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Killer Write lol
I like how the whole thing is completely nightmarish but luckily it was onlu a dream =D
Good Luck in the contest!!
-Katie
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Such a great poem my dear. Thanks for the share and with my heartiest wishes for you
P.S. I missed you in my days
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Pretty scarry sis...pretty long too
You did good on your first attempt to write a 'dark' poem...I even like what 'wings' did with the condensing of it...shows how good it really is...and good luck to you in the contest...
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oooooooooooooOOOOO0000
Dee, This is an excellent piece you have written here it has it all. Dark, Scarry, I don't know how else to describe it.
But hey here goes. I have taken a Line or part of a line in each paragraph.
And all night creatures
to face the night
what fate awaits me
jagged nails dig into my flesh
frightening me away
across the darkened neighborhood
as blood drops from each greedy tongue
I strugle to be free
no chance to escape
why can't I turn back
darkness closes in
I fear for my life
can't stop the pain
what lies beyond
these deamons lie in wait
am I doomed.
TRICK OR TREET----------
--------------------------------------------
So now you know how scared I am
Good Luck in the contest
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Excellent flow of the dark rhyming verse--Congratulations on the well-deserved Gold award!
Well Done!
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I love the classic horror feel to this piece. I admire a good rhyming poem and there is nothing so eerie as a great spooky rhyme to set the pace for Halloween. I found the imagery in this piece to be vividly done and easy to walk right in and “be there”. I really dig the dream twist at the end and the way it really invoked the spirit of Halloween. This is a masterpiece. I love it
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Very nice,
Nice and Dark.
Nice and Scarry.
Nice Write.
I liked it a lot.
Good Luck in the Contest.
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great job catz, wonderful entry
e
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This was fantastic a brilliant write well done every part of it kept me glued great write.
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Excellent
This is an excellent pice of writing. I loved every bit of this. I am a bit of a horror freak and this was great. Well done and good luck.
Keep writing
Countrybabe
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I was hooked on my screen...I almost heard the terrifying screams down from the basement...
And now I have to find the courage to go all the way down tonight
I think you created a dark, scary scene...but glad to feel my heart is still beating
Good luck in this contest
XXJeannette
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I'm glad I scared you, Jeannette, as this was my intention
As for going down to the basement, just be very careful... those demons don't just hide under bridges, they like it under the stairs, too. -
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Noooooooooooooo that means he will be in my bedroom I think I will stay awake all night
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Or even under the sofa or the table. If I were you. I'd remove the sofa and table legs... just as a precaution
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oh yes this is excellent very spooky indeed keeps you reading. Excellent
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very spooky Good luck in the contest
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great write hun.
thanks so much for entering
Tasha
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This is pretty good. It had me going, but it ended on rather a cheerful note. The rhyme and flow were very good. I like it.
See what you think of this one:
allpoetry.com/Poem/2247746
Andy -
Deep
This was so very dark...mmmm maybe granna has sides to her also lol
I loved it...
Am I doomed to this hell on earth
yes...tell death comes....
Kari -
Very nice. Thank you so much for entering, and I wish you best of luck in the contest.
Stephie -
terror filled~
I found the link sis lol
I read this once before and read it again
This is so different from your usual writes sis...
There is the air of darkness in this and the fear as well I don't think it's dorky at all...It is very compelling...Sometimes when I watch a scary movie I am even afraid to go into another room without a light on sighs
Top notch writing for your attempt at a dark poem sis
I think you should try this more often
Best of luck in the contest and I love the pic as well
Love n hugs
Your sis
Susan~~~
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Kind of dorky? I can't believe you even said that in your author's comment. This was brilliant and wonderfully written. You captivated me from beginning to end sitting on the edge of my seat in the throes of terror. I can relate complelely as well as I have one of those doors inside of me where the monsters and demons lurk. Often batteling as to whether to open it or not. Right now I am thinking Not.
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excelente
Do you feel like this all the time? Can you relate to the thing that you just wrote? I would like to say that this is very well written, maybe a little too well writen. I think that poetry is about flowing words, it just comes to you and you cant really stop it. "I want to run yet I must see more" The best line in there. You yearn to see more in life and nothing is going to stop you. This is my opinion and maybe a little tip. (god im sounding like my father) Keep it up but just let it come, dont force it.
Zaveed -
SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!! I LOVE the twist at the end... (You have a point,s ome of those ittle kids are scary!)
Also, I love the pic. It's cool, ties in well.
Keep up the good work!
Love, Asmearis -
I dunno what else to say... this poem is cool. Keep it up.
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very nice write..it gave me the chills..hehe...great pic it goes with the poem and the whole feeling...great write..really enjoyed reading it and it got me spooked...
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A very excellent poem, held me in suspence. I especially liked the twist in the end. You are very talented keep on penning.
Bertie -
cool
very visual...i love it -
Kinda dorky??? Not at all!! This poem was amazing, I loved it and the rhyming and everything about the poem. I especially loved the ending, it made me smile
see. hehe. Bravo, this was truly amazing. Halloween is my favorite holiday. This poem has got to be one of the best I've read that has to deal with Halloween. Good Work.
Sinceritamente,
Venomous Scorpio
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fantastic
Oh Catz! This isn't dorky at all! It sounds like it could be a poem passed down through the ages to spook, warn, and lend hand to a laugh. The vivid imagery gave me goodsebumps. I'd love to see you try your hand at this kind of poem again.
~Angela -
Wow . . . very interesting, chilling and dark. I really did enjoy this. The monsters are out and about, we're not safe until All Saints Day arrives
A very vivid poem that will stay with me tonight shivers
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oh my gosh this is an awesome poem! its not dory at all! i love it! It it very desciptive and u can like picture everythign that is going on in the peice. Thank you so much for sharing! and thank you for ur comment on my peice "unwelcome tears"
-cat- -
don't touch it!
Amazing! I truly enjoyed it. The haunting images it gave were beautiful and scary at the same time. It really was great! -
don't touch it!
beautiful enjoyed it awsome -
don't touch it!
I enjoyed this tremendously. Very eerie--right up my alley. I especially enjoyed the haunting images you carved; they will pursue me in my dreams, I'm sure. Great read! -
don't touch it!
this is great so much feeling it just makes you feel as if your in there but its kinda scary -
neutral
YOWSERS :S
*looks around my apartment and cuddles my stuffed bunny :(*
this rocks Dee :) -
excellent
Once again a great one. I could not stop reading. Felt like I needed to turn on all the light. Keep it up. -
neutral
What a wicked poem.
You have done a great job with the tension and flow and the speed of the piece really peaks.
A great write. -
excellent
Hey sis, After all these years how could I not have known you were so talented but sure am enjoying reading your work. I don't know didly squat about poetry but yours sure seems good. Keep up the good work.
Love ya,
Darlene -
don't touch it!
Oh that's good... You ready did some work on this one and it shows... Great job...
Hugs
Pat -
don't touch it!
Cool poem not dorky at all I enjoyed it I was going through my poems and saw you looked at blood love and wanted a part two so I made one sorry it took so long to but I made it when it came to me that is how it is with all my poems I cant make anything unles I have something if you come by to read I hope you like it I stop by here from time to time so even if you dont I will be back :) -
excellent
I Love The Way The Poem Flowed:)
Good Work....
'Whyzie' -
excellent
Amazing poem about Haloween, I hope you will win the contest, and I'm sure you will, I liked that part:
'Flames licking at their dancing feet
Awaiting Satan, for their chance to meet
And I, who never meant to go this far
Can't stop this pain, this sorrow, this war'
Good job. -
Thanks all of you for your great comments.. this is my first attempt at a scarey poem. I appreciate all your input. I had the urge to go on with it, was getting a little carried away, but it was already getting long so decided to end it.
As for the challenge.. I'm not sure if us greeters are considered to be in the moderator catagory... no matter.. the fun was in the writing and the feedback from all of you.
I'm glad you're enjoying it....just don't open the door this Halloween... you never know what awaits on the other side.....lol
Dee -
don't touch it!
A excellent dark scary write this one
I am thinking of entering i dunno only a few days now lol
Excellent
Come see me wont ya
Blessings
Susan~ -
don't touch it!
Great!!!!!!! thanks to your scary poem, i will lock myself in this halloween!
wow, this was awesome! to me this is a challenge winner!
Hugs for you , Dee!!!!!!!!!!! -
excellent
Love the artwork, outstanding. Brilliantly gruesome piece Dee, you're special. I might sleep with the light on tonight. -tj- -
don't touch it!
This is different from most your work. You did a terrific job and scaring the HELL out of me! Am I glad, I'm not home alone tonight! The ended really helped lighten things up! At least I'm not running around checking door and window locks! Your images were plenty clear for my easy to freak-out personality! It was as if each line, I wanted to stop reading, choose another, but the curosity got the best of me... Corosity is not always a good thing! Thanks dee for sharing this! Glad I knew the author. Otherwise, I'd be under the bed with Foxie, hidding! LOL, keda -
don't touch it!
This is wonderful Dee...so much work put into it..it's great just the way it is!!! love the ending, a bit of a twist..held me spellbound right to the end!!! good luck on the challenge!!! :)) -
neutral
Scary, but, Beautiful!
Rob
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