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You Are The Sea

Product of incest
Among countless siblings
The warm sea you are
Lapping against the land

Wife of one unfaithful
Just another conquest
Betrayed again and again
By ones so close to you

Patrolling the waters
Mounted upon your dolphin
Glittering hair trailing behind
An untamed beauty

Sitting on a rock
Surrounded by massive sea
Fish breach the water
An honor just to touch you

Watching, you melt into the sea
Fluid, ever changing, adapting
You are the sea
Wild, harsh, unforgiving
Except to me

Author notes

may this appease you, o mighty goddess.
So Begins Lovely Verse by Pleiadia
The High Hunt by horus8

Written on Amphitrite (Rose Dark Thorn)
may this appease you, o mighty goddess.
Written April 4th, 2005

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    May 1, 2005
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    Just look at my last comment babe.

  • ms-cuddles
    April 30, 2005
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    Damn, how my life echos this Goddess'. You weren't supposed to tell everyone. Beautiful write and read. Thanks for entering and good luck. Hugs~ Cuddles

  • Catressa gold member
    April 28, 2005
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    Well seriously who can compete after Rose wrote a book lol .. Truly though this is a beautiful piece and I did enjoy learning about this Goddess.. Take care and be safe, Catressa

  • jantastic gold member
    April 26, 2005
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    This does have a flow that befits the water imagery in the piece.. I am not usually a fan of repeated words but after a couple of words decided the repetition of "sea" was somewhat effective in this write.
    Best of luck in the contest.
    ~jan

  • Almighty Aphrodite gold member
    April 24, 2005
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    This is truly a wondrous work of art. Rose is such a beautiful soul, trampled upon by many it seems, just like the goddess Amphitrite. The cognizance of this fact makes me hurt for her. It is a good thing, however, that there is at least you, the knight that can remove her pain and dispell her feelings of worthlessness. This suits the both of them well. I absolutely love the poem, and judging from Rose's elation, she does as well. Good luck to you in the contest.

    Many blessings,

    Raven Aurora

  • Always Deena
    April 22, 2005
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    What a lovely,moving piece of art you have here...very well done!
    Deena

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    April 21, 2005
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    I am not satisfied with my last comment on this extremely exquisite and heartfelt piece, so I will comment on it once more.

    You have captured both the Goddess' legend and myself with perfection. Every word, every fibre, stanz, sentence...every touch of the masterpiece was done with such empowering emotion and deep meaning that only you and I could ever fully understand. You'll never have any idea how much it means to me. You know me so well and yet sometimes, it seems not at all. You are a wondrous poet and my soulmate. Nothing will ever change that. My favorite stanza had to be the last one.

    Watching, you melt into the sea
    Fluid, ever changing, adapting
    You are the sea
    Wild, harsh, unforgiving
    Except to me

    You've captured my gentleness, which rarely shows to strangers, especially those who tend to get under my skin. You've captured my love for the sea and my ever changing spirit and emotions. You've captured strength in me that I am often not aware of, that people as loving as you remind me of, even though I am still weak on my own. You've captured my adaptations to his ever changing world and my harsh and unforgiving ways...just like the sea, I am like this with those who do not deserve my love or my forgiveness. You've captured my wild side...and all you had to do was use simple unexplained words. I can see myself through every line, even between the lines, of this poem and the fact that you've even captured my forgiving nature into just one simple line is just so...lovely, for lack of a better word.

    You capture me in these words like no other and this has always been the kind of writing I've loved to see from you. Revealing everything delicate and fragile....revealing the untamed love we share and the forever closeness. You have done something I have always wanted you to do...except I never wanted to ask...I wanted you to do it on your own accord and even though I had to ask for this, it still means more to me than you'll ever know.

    I love you so much darling, and I had to recomment on this because the comment I made before was not worthy of such an exquisite masterpiece of a write. In my eyes, you have gold.


  • secberm
    April 21, 2005
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    Wonderful write. Very descriptive. Easy flow. Thanx for sharing and good luck. Write on friend.

    Dez

  • My Nemesis
    April 13, 2005
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    I can't think of anything to add to what has already been said. This is a great poem. Well done, and good luck in the contest.

  • PlayfulPassion gold member
    April 12, 2005
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    Like the water awash on the gentle sands of the earth. You have captured this Goddess with your overflowing beautiful sentiments & defining words. Brilliantly done and yet very personal endearments laced within this. I know this Goddess has been delightfully pleased with your tribute. Good Luck on your entry hon

  • poetryality silver member
    April 10, 2005
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    She is my sister and I was part of that dysfunctional famikly of goddess that perservered. This is written with the greatness of goddess and is so very perfect. Exquisite! Good luck with the challenge.

    Renee ♥

  • April 6, 2005
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    That last line simply couldn't have been more perfect for the piece. This flowed just like the ocean. I haven't been able to find much information on this particular goddess, but you've managed to paint a picture nevertheless, and that's genuine talent.

  • Sensual Sapphire
    April 4, 2005
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    Let me add to the accolades here. You have indeed captured both aspects in this piece. Beauty is found in perseverence and even strife. Both the Wench and Goddess are worth such praise and you have made both happy to be sure.

  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    April 4, 2005
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    It is quite clear that this is an extremely personal write. But I think they make for the most beautiful, as this has truly shown a deep and tender side to the beautiful wench you've portrayed.

    Shari

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    April 4, 2005
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  • Princess Muse silver member
    April 4, 2005
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    This is written perfectly...You have captured the goddess as well as Rose to perfection...Rose truly is "Betrayed again and again By ones so close to you" and yet you, her knight in shining armor (you) protects and cares for her..."An untamed beauty"...As she truly is...She is a beautiful young woman who I still have to argue with to get her to believe that but I know the woman inside and outside and she truly is beautiful to me..."An honor just to touch you"...Truly it is a honor to have her in my life...She has touched my heart in so many ways and is like a daughter of my flesh to me...I couldn't love her more...You have captured the goddess and captured Rose...Both beautiful and admired and both misunderstood by many...Congratulations on a beautiful entry.
    Tory Lin

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    April 4, 2005
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    I couldn't have asked for a better tribute than yours...It is so beautiful in every way and you even used my favorite background. The imagery is exquisite, the flow is beautiful, and honestly, I'd give you the gold if I could. Thanks so much. I love you.

  • April 4, 2005
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    Beautiful Work

    Awesome write. The imagery is stunning. Such a perfect, flawless flow. I really enjoyed this one. Writes that include any type of water are always intriguing. I loved the way you ended the piece. Beautiful work and good luck in the contest.
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