Superstition infested the night air,
Torches burned vividly and vague within.
Seven sisters stood here and started to stare,
Their hearts full of song and original sin.
Hands tied tight with honor and keen splendor,
Sweet is the night hour with maidens in despair.
The wind is burning, it’s churning in surrender.
The stars lit up their death in mighty flares.
There are many tales, tarnished by time,
Twisted by truth, people seem to forget.
The witch tales had me hypnotize with rhyme.
In our minds they were nothing but silhouettes.
We all followed the dance until the music died,
But for now, magic and instruments will hide.
Author notes
I am a creative and obedient poet.
Written April 1st, 2005
A contest entry
- The Creative Poet by steelvenom.
500 points, ended April 12, 2005, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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10-10
Teh smexy raven didnt read it but felt like commenting XP -
I like the poem, I really do, I just don't know how I will judge it yet. There are some really good parts-
"There are many tales, tarnished by time,
Twisted by truth, people seem to forget.
The witch tales had me hypnotize with rhyme."
It was really well vivid there, but there wasn't a lot of creativity, besides plot, put in here. I'll read it again when I judge and give it an honest chance, but maybe you should try reviewing some of the other poems in here, or the examples I gave in my "examples" section, to see what I'm looking for.
It was more your average run-of-the-mill rhyme, just written really well. This might better place in a different contest, unless you can make teh words dance across your page in some interesting way to enhance the macabre dance (by the way your title is spelled wrong...i think)
In our minds they were nothing but silhouettes.
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