any time you're lonely, lady
or
in any kind of need, remember
you've got an apartment
in my lower left ventricle.
it's vacant, fully furnished,
2 1/2 bath, 750 sq. ft.
and it's your apartment,
anytime i get rude or
you just need some privacy
you can keep me out-
i'll be back; i'm the landlord
but i'll beback to fix
the toilet or the A/C
just, look, any time you're lonely or
in any kind of need, remember
you've got a place to be,
with wall to wall carpeting under the beds
and hard wood in the hallways and living room
tile in the kitchen and in both baths and the half
you've got to pay power, but the water is free
so anytime that you're lonely-
it isn't a crash pad,
but it's a place you can always sleep
on a queen size by baywindows
overlooking a sprawling park
and the ocean just beyond it
a place you can sit and sip
a coke with me on the balcony
and just feel that overwhelming sense of peace
that you've always given me.
Author notes
Written April 1st, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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oh oh oh....I LOVE THIS...and i mean it too! what a refreshing thing to read, its not ur same old same old!
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very creative...hehe i feel like you have led me room by room and given me an indepth view.
unique stuff....your descriptions are simply brilliant!!
well done!!
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I think that this is a very good write. It's very unique and very nice. I loved the description and the way you worded it. I loved the way your lines ended when they did...nice touch. Great write!
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That was very very creative. I didn't know where you were going at first, although the ventricle line kind of hinted it to me, but i wasn't going to jump to conclusions, and see if there was any other hidden meaning behind your splendid words, great job, crackertl82
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It's very descriptive and it makes me feel good!!! so, I loved it of course.
Ayla
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I saw a small error, "but i'll beback to fix"...
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i like it because it's unusual. Good write- descriptive, emotive, sincere, and with a nice rythm to it.
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great love write
It is really a beautifull write with just an original approach, which is the great achievement of the poet, The subject is just unique and its presentatio part is also as per the mood and development of the write. It is smiling and a successfull write. I really appreciate this wonderfull write.prabhudayal khattar -
i like it- compassion without pleading or neediness, i think the tone of this is very selfless, which i know is not easy, because poetry is not a selfless act by any means.
i get a lot of modesty from this.
but its still honest, and very sincere.
hannah
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I like this, it's layered with truth, and it's kind of hopefully sad, but it's a good thought.
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1 - 10 of 10
3 old applause
