The need to belong
is as great as that
expanse of blue
filling the horizon.
Just as the grains of sands
on every beach goes unnoticed,
it is present but never
TRULY visible. It wants
to be seen. It yearns for
a role to play,
but what else could it fill
when all parts are taken and
the maddening silence
comforts its ears
like the soothing rushing of
water against stones...?
Author notes
i'm the middle child, so... there is a tendency for my parents, siblings and other relatives to sorta overlook me... ^_^ so, there 
Written April 1st, 2005
A contest entry
- A Mystery of Mysteries by cover fire hero.
500 points, ended August 22, 2006, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Hi! You don't have to applaude it though, your words are beautiful enough. I am glad I was able to make you feel that and visualize my message Again, thank you and take care!!!
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I love being able to read a poem and visualize what the writer is trying to get across. Well done. I think you could do with a few commas here and there but otherwise it's a flawless write. (i'd applaud this but unfortunately I only get 4 a day I'll applaud it for sure when I'm able
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Very nice piece of work...great use of phrases!
good flow...I really liked this one !
Great job!
Good luck ! -
great poem! I loved it, and I understood it even BETTER when Cover explained it in the comment. Good flow, wonderful wording! Good luck!
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The need to belong
is as great as that
expanse of blue
filling the horizon.
(comparing your yearning to size of the sky, not bad)
Just as the grains of sands
on every beach goes unnoticed,(To me this represents the feeling and emotions of your yearning to fit in, implicating that your unique although you blend in with everyone else and no one notices which goes with the idiom everyone is unique, like these lines)
it is present but never
TRULY visible. It wants
to be seen. It yearns for
a role to play,(builds upon the prev. intrep.)
but what else could it fill
when all parts are taken and
the maddening silence
comforts its ears(building further upon your feelings, as it becomes more powerful and builds up to the ending very well)
like the soothing rushing of
water against stones...?(and the ending brings peace, seems you come to a relization and are at peace but you seem unsure perhaps connotating it is temporary)
Cool poem, the flow and wording was excellent. Thanks for entering my contest.
Edited on Aug 14, 5:09 p.m. because ''. -
Another great poem. I like the flow!
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Stupendious write like the rest of your poems i enjoed reading this alot great job and thanks for the comment on my poem
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cool poem! very good!
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Excellent
Very picturesque! I love the expanse of blue and unnoticed grains of sand. Your writing is very deep. -
Nice job there. Keep up the good work!!!
---Freddy
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excellent
the thought was put into excellent form.to use words into natures form i commend you. -
excellent
hey!where do you get all these deepdeepdeep thoughts?hmmmm, must become a marketing major in my next life!heh.truly thought provoking.beautiful. -
this was a really well written beautiful piece...so deep and meaningful...your talent shines in each line...well done xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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hun u r sooooo philosophical! tis coolness i love this poem too ace one, rach xxx
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Dunno what to say , this was just good
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aaah i wont overlook you soda!!!! I likethis piece escpecially the begining!!!!!! Great write and keep on writing such lovely pieces, oh and i haveever had a real winter either.. just a dream....
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What an awesome write! This is a feeling that so many share... just to be noticed, to be seen, to be acknowledged, even if it is for a brief moment, it helps us to know that we are really here, that we are somebody... that we are worth someones time! Great job in expressing that!!!
S~
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I love it Soda! ^.^ Beautifully written and very creative. I really like it! Good job!
Holly
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Hey, this is pretty! You've got a great way with words, and the piece was wonderfully descriptive. Great work, and keep it up, hunn
~Smidge~ 
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Hmmm... this is brilliant in many ways. Simple, yet complex. I like it a lot.
Thanks for entering.
~Angel~ -
You have put such a great deal of thought into this piece, and I absolutely love it! My favorite lines were the ones in which you were talking about the grains of sand and how they are not always visible yet they are always there. That is brilliant, and it suited your message so wonderfully. Excellent job, and best of luck in this contest.
Justin -
Excellent write!! I particularly enjoyed the imagery... you are a great wirter!! I also enjoyed the way you broke up the sentences into lines... it's very effective!
Keep writing!!
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