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Treacly Bond of Love

The autumnal leaves smile
Brightly at us together
Walking happily, Hand in Hand.

My head leaning serenely
Against his shoulder,
And around my own, his jacket draped.

Love is the only word
That I can hear the geese say
As they fly south in a V.

'Love' is the only thought I can think.
A treacly sweet and sticky bond
Holding the two of us close.

Content smiles in our eyes.
Content feelings in our hearts.
As we walk together,
Under autumnal leaves.

Author notes

In case anyone cares, I do not know where this came from.
My words were Treacly and Jacket.

Note: This picture comes from " www.uwalumni.com/buckylovestories/hands.jpg "
Written March 31st, 2005

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

  • Ninque-Aiwe
    April 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry for the mistake, but thanks for not letting it affect your judging. I actually thought about that, but I wasn't sure at all how I could do it, so I decided to have both words in the poem, and one in the title anyway.
    I don't think I want to change it, but if you want, I will.
    Thanks for the comment, and God bless you too.


  • Simbelmyne
    April 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice! I wasn't expecting how you used the words (which seems to happen a lot to me in this contest). Before I say anything else, you should know that I intended for one of the words to be used in the title (we'll call it word "a") and one to be used in the poem (we'll call it word "b") and if "a" was the title word, "a" wasn't in the poem, too. But, I don't feel that I can disqualify anyone simply for that (since I could have been clearer) and so it's just a head's up in case you'd like to change it. It won't in any way affect my judging of this piece. Anyways...I really like this poem and the gentle, sweet (but not sappy) way it portrayed love. My favorite part was the stanza about the geese--excellent image! Great work, I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you so much for entering! I truly appreciate it. God bless and be well, Sim. *APPLAUSE*